Thursday, September 29, 2011

Marriage and Divorce

Apparently there is a fine line between marriage and divorce. Click on the link to check out the article.

But to me it's not that fine - it's actually a barrier.
Many things in marriage make you think of the alternative, however just because you think of it does not mean you have to follow through with it. I've never seriously considered divorce, because I never really wanted to raise children, or do anything else by myself. I've realized that I like the comforts and companionship of marriage. My husband is a good man - my running joke is "I had a good eye!" I didn't know what I was getting when I said yes to him. Because we come from different backgrounds, and we both think we're smart, we've been known to disagree heatedly about a number of things. Some disagreements simmer and some are quick to be resolved. But we try to get to the place of resolution so that we can move on. We're always learning about each other. The person I married is not the same person today - the essence of him remains the same, but his interests, hobbies, and opinions change and grow on a daily basis, and so we both try our best to deal with our evolving selves. The commitment we have to each other is clear.

This line may be the crux of the article,"Who stays married and who doesn't is a question not always about commitment or deep abiding love -- it's about endurance." My view is, if you don't have commitment which leads to deep abiding love and loving, then it becomes an endurance race.

According to the author these are the traits of longterm happy marriages:
  • "Couples who allow each other to grow separately are the ones with the best chance of growing together and staying together." I have found this to be true.
  • "Finally, the wives with the highest marital satisfaction have a tight circle of wild women friends with whom to drink, travel and vent about their husbands." For me, it's great to have girlfriends.
  • "Most women told her they stay married simply because they like their marriages more than they dislike them, even if much of the time it's 51 percent "like" to 49 percent "dislike." For me, the like percentage is higher.


The older couple in this comic represents where I am right now and I'm fine with it.

What about you? How long have you been married? Did that article make you look forward to having a long marriage or was it disappointing?

3 comments:

  1. I think the pic is too funny! I have been married 9 years and honestly sometimes I just want to sit in peace like the older couple. We have a young son and I just appreciate the silence sometimes. lol
    Marriage is a commitment by both people, I believe that is key.

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  2. We've been married 5 years. The article is disappointing so I am not buying into it.

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  3. Thanks for your comment. the article is a bit bittersweet, but i chose to see the positive in it.

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