Moving is hard because once you move you know longer have the easy accessibility of friendships. I am a mother - so I made friends through my children, through school, through church and from living in one place for a long time. There was a rhythm to my life that allowed me to connect and establish relationships.
Moving changed that rhythm and unwittingly I hungered for it. I live in the valley and when I first moved here I wanted to be friendly with any person of color I saw, since they were so few of us. So I would say hi to random strangers who were black, exchanged phone numbers, initiate some text conversations and then never hear from them again. Over time I felt like a stalker. I tried Meetup - but the women I met were not my cup of tea. They were all single looking for men on online dating sites and complaining about the shortage of men. And I was happily married for a long time with 4 children - why was I there? I got tired of reaching out - it felt like what I imagined a first date feels like multiplied by one hundred.
So at some point I accepted my situation; I had friends on other coasts and could call when I need to, but I wanted someone to just have a cup of tea with or do nothing with, just because.
Let me insert at this point - that this may or may not have driven my husband crazy, but he was going through the same thing in a different sort of way. His temperament is different than mine and the need did not appear so critical. Women crave relationship especially of other women - its how I'm wired (can't speak for all).
When the Little One started school, over a period of time I connected with a couple of other moms. We are a diverse group - Vietnamese, Mexican, Filipino, Korean and Black, but we have learned so much from each other in the past years and have a good time whenever we get together. Friendships are growing.
The Little One also did Track, and when I went to the first Track meet my first thought was, "so this is where all the Black people in the valley are." The comedian is a Track mom as were a couple of other moms at the shower. Friendships continue to grow.
When you move, everything takes time; you're never going to have exactly what you left because you are in a different place, with different people. But if you are open, you can establish a new rhythm that's just as rich. It's different, not bad.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5,6
How do you make new friends? How are your friendships affected by your moving - if you've moved? Would you say that when you don't try to make friends, the people you meet surprise you in a pleasant way leading to friendship?