Thursday, October 27, 2016

Marriage Ups and Downs

It seems at a certain point everyone wants to be married but once married, marriage doesn't live up to their expectations. Could it be that we have warped expectations around marriage? It seems our experiences, culture and fantasy fuel what we think marriage should look like. Once we put "should" in there we're in for a whole boatload of disappointment.

Marriage in its simplest form is two people - man and woman, who make a commitment to each other that no matter what, they will stick together. That's what you mean when you say your vows which try to encapsulate the spectrum of most human experiences. It doesn't mean that the good feelings will always flow, or that you'll always think kindly towards each other. Living with each other can bring out the best and worst in each other, but ultimately love wins and we are better for it.

So here's what I mean - as a couple we have been dealing with a couple of things recently - grief and aging bodies (you know, things change as you get older but you learn to adjust). Grief doesn't help any of this as a matter of fact because we grieve differently we may feel temporarily isolated from each other.

But (literally) at the end of the day - we're still here and it's because of the commitment we have to each other. We may be hurt by each other but we forgive and move on. We may feel lonely, but one person in a marriage can't be everything to the next person - so we look up. You learn to talk and communicate the best you can. You also learn when to be quiet but still be there. However, the longer you are with someone you learn how to navigate the rough and the smooth rides together.

Love covers a multitude of sins has taken on new meaning recently. To personalize it - I am a multitude of sins - a multitude. But I'm a sinner saved by grace. So my husband keeps loving me, in spite of everything I do or don't do and I do the same for him.

As my good friend/blogger, Slimwavy says - "Make no mistake -- marriage is not for dummies. It is not for sissies, wimps, and punks either. It is not for the flighty or the easily distracted. Only those who respect the long haul -- and all that it brings -- will survive. But the funny thing about survival -- the marriage actually gets sweeter with time. But both members of the couple have to be willing to stick around, committed to one another to add the sugar."

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 

We are sticking around and adding the sugar.

1 comment:

  1. Love this! Marriage is not a fairy tale, but that doesn't mean it's not worth having and fighting for.


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