Thursday, October 5, 2017

Blessings or Not?

Children are a gift from God; a reward from Him. In the KJV it says ".....and the fruit of the womb is his reward." When we think of children we forget the gift part; we forget the feeling of receiving a gift - that feeling of unexpected glee and joy while simultaneously feeling undeserving of such a gift. It's equivalent to the feeling that you have on your birthday and you are presented with gifts because of the special person that you are.

More often than not we don't initially ascribe positive words or thoughts to children. 

If something is a gift,

Why must it make me tired?

Why are there so many sleepless nights?

Why do I now have stretch marks, saggy breasts or varicose veins?

Why won't they listen to me?

How come they're not like me? (I was perfect.)

Why do they eat so much?

Why do they need so much care?

It's as if we expect our blessing and our gifts to immediately benefit us, to automatically enhance our lives, and wrap us in luxury. But the gift of children is slightly different - the conception is participation in a miracle; the delivery is the genesis of joy compounded with other emotions; their growth is seeing the wonder of God yet seeing the broad spectrum of behavior capable of a human. All of this is part of the blessing.

Within marriage, the decision to have children (or not) is not a unilateral decision. Often times women take on the decision of when to have children simply because they are the carriers. This has merit, but it's not her decision alone, and a husband may be unwittingly setting himself up for long-standing resentment by leaving it up to his wife. Be involved from the beginning; share your thoughts about children and your experiences. Work together in figuring out when you will have children or go with the flow, but work together. There is no perfect ideal time to be blessed with children but once you have children, it's the start of many life-long blessings that includes many ups and downs.

Children make parents better people if they're willing to be. If it weren't for my children I wouldn't have allowed God to smooth over the rough edges in my personality, I wouldn't have mastered the art of finding items on sale while making an entire family looked like I spent a million bucks; I wouldn't have searched for better employment opportunities because raising them reinforced that I had skills employers were looking for; I wouldn't have focused on taking care of myself so that I could be around for them.

Children are ultimately a great return on investment. The principle of reaping and sowing applies to raising children also. Spiritually the promises of scripture are true - training up a child; realizing the wonder of pondering things in your heart like Mary did; her children calling her blessed. In turn, they have made me wiser and smarter, more empathetic, clever, a problem solver and have increased my faith.

Through the various temperaments and personalities, the bickering and sibling rivalries, the indecision, bad decisions or short-sightedness, they have brought unspeakable joy to my life which I could not have conceived of.

Now I'm not saying all children are perfect but what children become has a lot to do with their parents and perhaps if you think about this before you have children you may never have them. You don't know what you're going to get and you don't know if you'll be able to handle it. But there's a symmetry to life, you are not who you are solely because of your own efforts and the same goes for your child - it's not only up to you. So don't count yourself out.

Children are the blessings that have the potential to keep on giving. 

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. 
Psalms 127:3-5

How do you view children?

--Nylse

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7 comments:

  1. They are def. blessings. I see my sister with their children, talk to them and I just can't help but light up. They are what I wish the world were like. Joyful, innocent and free of malice.

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  2. Hi Nylse! Smoothing those rough edges - yes, indeed. Just this morning my teen daughter and I took sand paper to a rough edge that had come between us. I can't control her but can offer my own heart to God. "Show me what's in there, Lord," was my prayer. As parents, we can encourage our children to do the same. The result is often beautiful when we allow God to shape the situation. Blessings! #heartencouragementThursday

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  3. I think children are teachers. So many things I've learned through the raising of my children. They're mostly all adults now, with the youngest being a sophomore in high school. So grateful for what they've taught me and how God has allowed me to be used in their lives as well. :)

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  4. Great post, Nylse. The blessings and wonderful parts of having children and being parents far outweigh the hard parts. My favorite lines in the article are this, "It's as if we expect our blessing and our gifts to immediately benefit us, to automatically enhance our lives, and wrap us in luxury. But the gift of children is slightly different..." Such insight there. Thanks for this reminder!

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  5. Children are great gifts. The greatest! Visiting from Susan Mead's.

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  6. I fully believe my children have made me a better person. Thank you for sharing on the Sunday Thoughts today!

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  7. I am certain my children are wiser than me at times, and they are definitely wiser than I was at their age. They have taught me so much, even when they were little they stretched me by their innocence sometimes. Yes, definitely a gift!

    I popped over from the Sunday thoughts link up

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