Trusting God

If you are a parent, you must realize that there are things you have learned that you never would've learned, if you had not become a parent.

A big lesson that I'm constantly learning is trusting God; here's what I mean.

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Parenting does not come with a manual geared to each child that you have. To a certain degree the Bible can serve as that manual, combined with others that have gone before you. But because your child is unique in temperament and personality, you as parents will have to figure out effective methods. For example you may know that it is foolish to not discipline a child, but as a parent you have to figure out the best method: do you spank, do you talk, do you take a way privileges? Once you have that part figured out, the child grows on you and you realize old methods no longer work and then you try something new.  And then the child is 18 or thereabouts and is now responsible for himself and you hope against hope that all the things you've said and done over the years stuck.

And this is where big time worry can kick in - if you let it.
But you have another choice - you can trust God. Yes, trust God.

I am going through a variant of this right now and these children are teaching me to lean on God more than ever before. My husband and I have spent a lot of time in conversation and praying together over our children. Children will do that to you - make you do something that you should have been doing all along, but had neglected. We never need to worry. To trust means to have child like faith, as in the image above; to let go of everything I think I know and simply trust.

As I meditate on the verses below, worry dissipates and trust is strengthened.

Psalm 18:2 - “The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”
Psalm 91:2 - “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
Nahum 1:7 - “The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him. ”
Proverbs 30:5 - “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”
Isaiah 26:3 - “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
Psalm 118:8 - “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”
Proverbs 3:5 - “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

How do your children teach you to trust in God?

The List

Blogging is fun because it's writing, which is a childhood dream of mine.  Through blogging, I've learned a lot about others and myself.  Looking back at some of posts, I see growth, anguish, maturity - to name a few.
I saw this list on a blog I read, and my first thought after reading her list was, I could never do something like that, because I have an invisible fence in my brain around the things I'll share. Blogging has also made me realize that the hardest posts to write are those that benefit the most.  This isn't very deep in terms of content, but it's another way that you get to know another part of me.

I am: exuberant and still look good for my age; a wife and mother of 4
I think:  about too many things that don't make sense to most people
I want: a new house with granite counters and stainless steel appliances in the kitchen
I have:  alot of stuff; i buy clothes on sale that I have yet to wear; no patience for foolishness
I dislike: mess, clutter, confusion, angry people
I miss: being close to my friends; stopping by for a cup of tea; hanging out for no good reason; late night sessions where we talked and talked.
I fear:  being a grumpy old lady; becoming fat.
I feel:  good
I hear:  crickets; and the toilet flushing
I smell:  garbage and dirty dishes
I crave: sour cream and onion potato chips especially when I'm hormonal
I search: for my husband's wallet and keys way too often
I wonder:  what would happen to me if my husband died; what each child will become
I regret:  not too much, but I surely wish I'd taken advantage of SAP training many years ago
I love: Love
I care:  for my family - my husband and my children and then my extended family
I am always: looking for something to do
I worry:  about growing old, my children
I remember: growing up in the Bahamas - the food, the beaches, our house and neighbors
I sing:  Loudly, often, in public or private
I argue:  when i feel strongly about something or if I know I'm right
I write: because its cathartic; everything down so I don't forget
I lose:  my mind when I'm wrapped up in a song; I can listen to it on repeat for hours on end
I wish:  this life would be over and I could start living in heaven
I listen:  to all sorts of music
I don't understand:  why a child who is raised with a Godly foundation would squander that; how two children could be raised in the same loving environment and one thrives and the other is angry
I can usually be found: at home or in my car
I am scared:  of dogs, and rodents (especially if they get in my house)
I need: to do laundry...uggh
I forget:  not much; though sometimes in conversation the thought I was going to express all of a sudden slips my mind.
I am happy:  .when we snuddle - that's snuggling and cuddling; when I'm being hugged; having stimulating conversation

So Kris, thanks for encouraging me to do this.
Now it's your turn. Make your own list and let me know so I can come read yours. And remember, don't spend too much time thinking about it. Usually what first comes to mind is what you need to write. Don't worry about sounding goofy, or unspiritual, or whatever. . .we are all a work in progress.

Notes From My Daughter

I'm starting a new series called - Notes From My Daughter.  This daughter is 19 years old with a heart that desires to serve God. We've had great conversations around her spiritual growth and the evidence of it in her life. She wanted to start sharing some of her thoughts via a blog, but she has not done so as yet. She thought my blog would be a great starting point. So without further introduction, here is her first note.

What You Want vs. What God Wants (Spoiler: in this battle, God wins)

The phrase “Obedience is better than sacrifice” is extracted from a conversation between Saul and Samuel in 1 Samuel 15. In this chapter Saul, the appointed king of the Israelites  disobeys God but finds his actions to be justified because he “technically” performed the task God asked him to do. God asked Saul to destroy Amalek (a city that ambushed the Israelites), and Saul did almost that. Saul chose to keep the King of Amalek alive, the animals alive, and kept “all that was good” (verse 9). Samuel, the priest of Israel, is instructed to confront Saul about how the Lord now rejects Saul as king because of his actions. There are 3 basic things that I took away from this chapter that we can all learn from:


1. Excuses 

Saul’s reasoning for disobeying God is found in verse 24 where Saul states “I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them.” When I first read this chapter I overlooked this verse but now it stands out to me because I relate to Saul’s logic. Sometimes God’s instructions get overshadowed by popular opinion, and it’s not because He wasn't clear in His instructions but that we took our eyes off of Him and put our focus on other human beings. We as humans are swayed at the thought of pleasing other humans instead of LISTENING to what God has to say. It’s natural, but it’s wrong, especially in a leadership position like Saul had. Keep in mind God is not a people pleaser; He see’s beyond the surface of the situation and instructs based on what’s necessary, not what's popular. People are always going to have an opinion but God is the only one who speaks the absolute truth. Stop with the tired excuses.

2. Forgetfulness
The reality is, we are all like Saul. Going back to the beginning of Saul’s story (which starts in 1st Samuel 9) we can see that Saul was initially an “average Joe” who was appointed as King because God chose him for the job. In the beginning of Saul’s reign, Samuel was sure to instill in Saul that he would have to follow God’s will if he wanted to be established (this was the only requirement). However, we all forget the beginning when we are caught up in the now. Humble beginnings are reminders that throughout the whole journey you still NEED to depend on the one who got you started. You cannot do God’s will, without Him. No matter how much you think you have it under control, you need to trust God more than yourself, which leads us to…


3. Pride


“Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and shun evil” –Proverbs 3:7
Sometimes/Often the actions that we take are all very logical from our own perspective. We think the way in which we interpret what God says precisely matches what he originally said to us. Honestly if this were the case there would be no need for the Holy Spirit who continually guides and protects us, even from ourselves. We think…..wait for it…….WE KNOW IT ALL, or at least we know enough from our point of view. But don’t let yourself fool yourself. God did not ask Samuel for sacrifice; He asked for obedience. He didn't ask for selectivity, but for total submission. He didn't ask for what you heard, but what he told you. It’s not based on you. The only way to be a leader who “Does not lie or change his mind” based off of what he/she thinks is to consistently go back God because the reality is, you need God.

“Obedience is better than sacrifice” said Samuel to Saul. So how does one start being truly obedient?

Obey his words; read them, meditate on them, bind them around your heart (Proverbs 3) and consistently go back to God as he continues to sanctify you. Do not go off of what the majority says, or even what seems right to you, but seek God in ALL things and be willing to LISTEN. A true leader is a person who is dedicated to following God at all times and directs others based off of God’s will. We start by realizing we need God and putting our full trust in him, we continue by following him, wherever he takes us…obedience is key to your walk with God.

Obedience or sacrifice?

PS - please show some love in the comments; I appreciate all my readers!
PPS - I had such a hard time adding those images.

Friendships

I attended a bridal shower last night for a new friend; as it turns out she happens to be a comedian and she is quite funny naturally.  At this event, I met other women who I had seen in passing but had never had a conversation with them. Invariably, we ended up talking about how we ended up in LA. Many were born and bred in LA never left, and some of us had a long winding road before we got here. It was nice to hear that they were a few island (West Indian) connections also. It always warms my heart to know that there are normal people in LA; I think I fell in to the trap of thinking that everyone here was a transplant or affiliated with the entertainment industry; so every time I meet a regular person I smile and am encouraged.

Moving is hard because once you move you know longer have the easy accessibility of friendships. I am a mother  - so I made friends through my children, through school, through church and from living in one place for a long time.  There was a rhythm to my life that allowed me to connect and establish relationships.

Moving changed that rhythm and unwittingly I hungered for it. I live in the valley and when I first moved here I wanted to be friendly with any person of color I saw, since they were so few of us. So I would say hi to random strangers who were black, exchanged phone numbers, initiate some text conversations and then never hear from them again. Over time I felt like a stalker. I tried Meetup - but the women I met were not my cup of tea. They were all single looking for men on online dating sites and complaining about the shortage of men. And I was happily married for a long time with 4 children - why was I there?  I got tired of reaching out - it felt like what I imagined a first date feels like multiplied by one hundred.

So at some point I accepted my situation; I had friends on other coasts and could call when I need to, but I wanted someone to just have a cup of tea with or do nothing with, just because.

Let me insert at this point - that this may or may not have driven my husband crazy, but he was going through the same thing in a different sort of way. His temperament is different than mine and the need did not appear so critical. Women crave relationship especially of other women - its how I'm wired (can't speak for all).

When the Little One started school, over a period of time I connected with a couple of other moms. We are a diverse group - Vietnamese, Mexican, Filipino, Korean and Black, but we have learned so much from each other in the past years and have a good time whenever we get together. Friendships are growing.

The Little One also did Track, and when I went to the first Track meet my first thought was, "so this is where all the Black people in the valley are." The comedian is a Track mom as were a couple of other moms at the shower. Friendships continue to grow.

When you move, everything takes time; you're never going to have exactly what you left because you are in a different place, with different people. But if you are open, you can establish a new rhythm that's just as rich. It's different, not bad.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5,6

How do you make new friends? How are your friendships affected by your moving  - if you've moved? Would you say that when you don't try to make friends, the people you meet surprise you in  a pleasant way leading to friendship?