Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Communication is the basis for all relationships and in my family it is something we struggle with.
It seems as if many of us are stuck in the past, so when one person speaks, we're not hearing or listening to what they're saying but instead viewing them through an old lens. Does the younger sister ever become a person in her own right or is she forever trapped by her bullying big brother? When a younger brother speaks, can he be taken seriously or is he still viewed as the baby?
These are just examples, but I feel past events color present interactions in a negative way. After a while it becomes quite tiresome.
So how do we get past this? Here's what I've learned so far:
  • Start with yourself - Acknowledge the role you play. Perhaps you are always snarky, or come across as having a chip on your shoulder, or maybe you're a smart aleck. If these accusations are coming your way often enough, don't just brush them off or ignore them. They may be some truth to them - so do the hard work and examine yourself. This may take some time, but it's worth it in the long run to you and your family.
  • Let your family know of your struggle - this takes guts and may not be well received by all. But the point of this is that sometimes you may slip up. Also by letting them know, it shows your willingness to address your part in it. This may feel unnatural; you may feel exposed; but in the long run you are growing.
  • Forgive and forget - in other words move on. Don't hold a grudge. Forgiving may be easy, but the forgetting may be a struggle. Sometimes you just want to hold on to the pain and hurt - let it go. When you have interactions with your family view the slate as being wiped clean. You may go back down the same path, but this time your responses can be different.
  • Watch your tone - Sometimes how things are being said has more weight than what is being said. Be polite - manners maketh man!
  • Commit this area to the Lord - He can do a new thing and work a change through you.
Interactions with my family are sometimes still problematic and boisterous. But the steps above have helped me tremendously as I constantly work on improving my communication. I remain hopeful, that eventually we can all sit around and have a peaceful, pleasant conversation.

What about you? Do you struggle with communicating with those closest to you? Do you have any additional suggestions?

Friday, August 26, 2011


Yesterday, while dropping my husband to the airport we were talking, just chatting about nothing in particular. And then he told a corny joke and we were both doubled up in laughter - genuine laughter. This laughter got me thinking - sometimes we don't laugh enough or enjoy each other's company enough. Sometimes we take each other for granted, because we're so close to each other.

It's good after 22 years to be able to laugh with each other. I heard someone say - the longer you're in a marriage the better it gets. To this I would add, if you're married to the right person and you're both willing to work at it.

This laughter can be removed from other important relationships in our lives also.

So this weekend, I encourage you to enjoy your time worshipping the Lord; he appreciates our laughter and our praise.

Have you laughed today?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


That's the song for the school my daughter will be attending but it encapsulates the attitude we should have in life. Sometime's life's a fight and we must remember never to give up. I'm not in this fight by myself though - thank God!
So much has been happening for me all at once, and it had my head in a tailspin: children moving on, uncertain job situation, and just the daily minutiae of life. Even if I wanted to write, I just couldn't; it was very frustrating, because they are alot of great blog posts in my head :). Things have settled down, and I was able to clear my head, so I should be writing more frequently.
I was telling a friend the other day that God answers my prayers in the strangest ways, but he answers. If He answers, that means he hears. He doesn't always answer in the way I would, but he answers in a way that ultimately works out better for me. Sometimes the answer doesn't feel good (initially), but as I look back or step out in faith I know it's good. If God did things my way, why would I need Him? I need Him and I'm learning each day to trust his sovereign will.
I'll be back writing. I've missed you, my fellow readers. Hang in there and Fight on.

What's happening with you? Do you know or remember your school (HS or College) song? Please share in the comments.

Monday, August 8, 2011


Sex...it's everywhere. We are inundated with sex in our culture.
Listening in on some conversations over the weekend, I heard how teens as young as 14 have lost their virginity and how those in high school are quite versed on sexual positions and techniques.

When I was a youth leader at a church, a couple of young ladies got pregnant. Without fail these young ladies expressed regret at what transpired. One told me she was very lonely, she knew she shouldn’t be doing this but she figured it would ease her loneliness. Another one told me. "You know how it is; you get all caught up and before you know it....” Both of these ladies ended up pregnant.

I bet you so many feel that they've outsmarted someone if they're active but don't get pregnant. The guys aren't innocent in this either, it’s just that the girls bear most of the burden for this behavior.

Maybe we can coin a new phrase - instead of losing your virginity, perhaps it should be "I'm choosing to gain blessings." Maintaining and keeping your virginity until the right time is nothing to be ashamed of.

I tried to teach the young ladies that I worked with how to practically prepare themselves for situations and how to avoid situations that may lead them down the wrong path.

I also wanted the young ladies to know that they were worthy. If they saw themselves as valuable, perhaps this would translate in to how they allowed others to treat them.

As an adult, I wanted them to know what I expected and why I expected it from them. Sometimes people just don’t know and get sucked in to what’s most common. I wasn’t saying this to complicate their lives; from experience I knew it was the better way and I knew it was doable.

The bottom line is you don't have to cave in to all the messages of sex around you. It may be considered radical if you don't, but it’s worth it: it’s one less thing to cloud your head with; you don’t have to think about the emotions of connecting with someone who may not be in your life past this instance but who will be in your mind forever; it frees you to focus on what you need to do.

Sex is a beautiful thing; but what's put out there takes away from the beauty of it. There are too many consequences if it’s not within the framework God intended.

I think everyone knows what the Bible says about this topic, but this is one of those areas where we often feel we know better than what God says.

What are your views on sex outside of marriage?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Beam in My Eye

Literally, right now it feels as if there is a beam in my eye.
It looks like it may be a sty, so I'm trying all my home remedies and it is still bothersome. The only time I'm not aware of it is when I have my contacts in - it almost feels as if the contact is protecting my eye.

I'm reminded of the scripture that says to examine yourself before you go pointing out the moat or little speck in someone's eye.

So perhaps this is a time of reflection for me also. This beam, reminds me to examine my life and to make sure that I'm living what I'm teaching. This beam reminds me to be authentic and also allows me to be vulnerable. This beam keeps me humble. I want the beam to go away but I want the effects of it to stay. And while I appreciate my contacts, I don't want anything in my life that gives me a false sense of who I am, making me comfortable with my faults.

What about you? Is there a beam in your eye?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Yesterday, I had the opportunity of running some serious mileage outside, and it felt so good. I was running with two college athletes, who are in pretty decent shape and this mother was able to keep up!

Prior to yesterday, I ran on the treadmill, due to child care constraints. I like running and exercise is important to me, so the treadmill it was. I would put on my headphones and let my mind take me to different places as I ran. I knew I was getting better, because I was getting more mileage in and I felt stronger, however I was not sure.

Running outside, made me realize just how much improvement I had made.

Some times in our Christian walk, we do the same thing over and over again either by choice or necessity and we never really know how much we've grown. The only way to know is to put yourself in different surroundings, for example - talk to new people; participate in a new ministry; invite random people over. You won't know your progress if you never share - iron sharpens iron. Dare to take a leap of faith.

For me, I've decided to be an usher at LA Harvest. I've never done anything like this even though I've had opportunities to in the past and I'm quite excited by the opportunity.

Dare to take a leap of faith - you will recognize how far you've come and you too WILL FEEL GOOD.

What leaps of faith will you take?