Thoughts on Moving - Age and Stage

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The first time I ever moved I was 12; we migrated from the Bahamas to the United States. This was not a move of choice but again, of circumstance. Due to political upheaval at the time our family was forced to leave since my parents were not Bahamian. As a 12 year old I did not understand any of this; it was an adventure to be on a plane for the first time, it was an adventure driving from JFK and meeting my cousins, and it was delightful eating lasagna for the first time and staying at my uncle's house. It was also cold, very cold and my skinny island body did not like it. Apparently we arrived in spring, but it felt like winter to me. I could not understand how other children were outside during recess playing. I froze. School was also an adventure; due to the British education system in the Bahamas I did very well at school and teachers love smart kids. In class I remember it being the first time I was called a young lady - in the Bahamas we were treated as children. Here we were expected to take ownership of certain things. It was all an adventure, and I made the necessary adjustments without too much resistance.

For my parents it was not an adventure - they were starting over in a new country with 7 children. They had to hit the ground running. Within six months they were able to purchase a house. My dad had to start over as none of his mechanic credentials were valid in the states. He eventually joined his brothers working at a bakery. My mom decided that it was too cold to only wear dresses and skirts, so she started wearing pants and eventually went back to school. My mom had always envisioned moving to the states. As is the case with many from the Caribbean, an uncle was supposed to send for her, but never did. When it was certain we were moving to NY, she embraced it wholeheartedly and never looked back.

Moving at 12 was an adventure, moving in my 40s not so much though I tried to remain hopelessly optimistic. Prior to moving, I thought it wise to seek out others who had made such a move and get their thoughts. For the most part people were very positive and encouraging.  But then I spoke to someone who had nothing but bad experiences in her move to the west coast. According to her, this was the worst place on the earth.  Being the practical person I am, I weighed her thoughts against the others and the good outweighed the bad, but those negative words stayed with me for months and it was not a good way to start this journey. Her age and stage of life may have had a lot to do with her perceptions of her situation.

Age and stage makes a huge difference in how you handle your new location. I've heard it said that geography is irrelevant because wherever you go, you still have to deal with you. As a child I didn't have a care in the world. As an older woman in my 40s, I had begun to think differently about many things. I had raised children and learned many things from doing so. I had tempered some of my views and many of my Christian beliefs were reinforced. I used to be a black and white person, and as I grew I realized that there were many grey areas in life and not all of them were bad. Life was not as neat as I would like it to be. Moving made me realize just how neat it wasn't, but I now felt I had the mental fortitude to deal with whatever came my way.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
Does age and stage matter or is it just about the location?

Thoughts on Moving - Time To Do It

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Our major move was dictated by circumstance. Prior to the change in our circumstance, we had talked and thought about moving but at the time seemed to have no compelling reason to do so, until a much needed job offer materialized on the west coast. After months of thinking and praying about it, once the offer came everything was set in motion.

We had lived in our current community for more than 15 years. We initially moved there because of the schools and the upward mobility of the area.  Over the 15 years there had been a steady decline in both the schools and the area and unbeknownst to us, some of these negatives had started to seep in to our household. Besides the negatives, community is what we had and enjoyed at church, school and home. It was no big deal for friends to stop over unannounced or for someone to call randomly because they needed help. I knew teachers and leaders at the schools and volunteered and stayed in touch as often as I could. Church kept us busy yet grounded. It was a full life.

But it was time to move.

After being out of work for a year my husband had gotten a good offer on the west coast. As a wife, it's hard to see a husband not do one of the primary things he's called to do. so regardless of where the next opportunity was, I was willing to go so that our family could be whole again. (I did that Ruth Naomi thing!)

Moving was daunting and overwhelming. We had to pack up 15 years of living in 2 days - THANK GOD FOR MOVERS.  I tried but I could not do it.
We had to sell the house - which means finding an agent, listing the house, and preparing the house. Ultimately we decided to sell as is.
I sold a few things over craigslist but everything else came with me and I'm glad they did.
They were lots of goodbyes - to the point where I just wanted it to be done so I could move on.

My biggest initial take aways:

• Make sure you have a reason to move - it may not be the wisest thing to pick up and move with no thought to where you are going.
• Pray about it - often; don't try to rationalize your plans with what God has in store for you
• Having a support system is vital - mine was family and friends.

I had a lot of time for reflection once I got to the west coast, which I will share in upcoming posts.

.....The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham when he was in Mesopotamia, before he lived in Haran, and said to him, ‘Go out from your land and from your kindred and go into the land that I will show you.’ Acts 7:2-3

Have you ever moved? How long were you in your old location prior to moving? Was it easy or hard for you?

Away Way Too Long

It is my intention this time to write on a regular basis, going forward.

In my life, there's lot's of stuff happening and lots of teaching moments that I want to share with you.  My brain feels like it's a cup of juice that's constantly being stirred.




I've been thinking about:

• Moving and what it has meant to me
• Marriage and how its beautiful regardless of where you are
• Young adult children - the transition for them and me
• Being fit and how hard it seems sometimes especially as we get older
• As a woman, carving out time for myself
• Family, immediate and extended
• Spirituality how it's intertwined in everything

My posts are random just like me, and run the gamut from the inane to those of consequence. I've struggled with doing a series or keeping my thoughts ordered, but that's not the way my brain works, though I will try if it makes writing about certain topics easier.

I also want to say thanks to those that read, follow and leave comments.  Sometimes it's just the bit of validation that I need.

I'm going to keep writing and hopefully you'll keep reading.

Memories

For the past three weeks I've been travelling.

We spent one week in the Bahamas and two weeks in Jamaica. One of those weeks was dedicated to a family reunion on my husband's side, which was a whole lot of fun. The remaining time I hung out with friends and family.
Highlights from my Bahamian trip in pictures:

Where it all started; first house in Bahamas

Straw Market in Nassau

lovely view

Beach we went to on Saturdays

meeting my namesake - that was fun!

Church we attended

Grouper

Every family should have a family reunion. No family is perfect but the time spent reconnecting and getting to know each other is priceless. One of the best things about reunions is seeing the younger generations connecting with each other. At this reunion we celebrated birthdays, anniversaries and we even had a proposal. We spent a lot of time just laughing, reminiscing and having fun with each other.
Highlights in pictures from Jamaica:

Condo Rios

The Beach at Condo Rios

Having a good time in the pool

Cousins in the pool

Pretty ladies

Partying

Billy Goat at the Farm

I hope you are taking a moment this summer to recharge and enjoy your families.

PS - if you click on one picture you can use the arrow keys to navigate and view all pictures.