Monday, February 1, 2016

Firm Foundation

There's a new TV show called "It's Not You, It's Men" where two famous men bring their insight to common topics; I would deduce from the title that the show is geared to women.  I'm not sure, I haven't watched the show but I do find the title of the show catchy and depending on my mood could relate to the sentiment in the title.

In any event, I read this recent recap where the topic was marriage.  I've provided the link because I think the 7 tips shared are spot on.

Marriage is a lifelong relationship; it's a relationship.  The other day when a tennis player who was part of the winning Men's Doubles Finals at the Australian Open thanked his wife during his speech, he said, "We've had good times and bad times, but thank you for being there." Sometimes in the bad times, we forget what we have; we forget to laugh and to just enjoy each other's company. Our vision becomes clouded by our immediate circumstances.

Writer Herman Wouk was asked what was the "secret" to his marriage of 60 plus years.  He said, "It was love that got us through. We put our heads together and figured out what we needed to do." This quote illustrates what we all know: love is an action; love is a choice.  When married, you've made the choice to love the one you're with.

In marriage, don't let tricky times or bad times shift your foundation; they shouldn't if your foundation is firm. And there's nothing wrong with acknowledging tough times but the beauty is you're not going through life alone. Tough times don't last, but tough people do.  I'm full of cliches today but cliches exist because they're true.  Regardless of what you're going through in life, and in your relationships, hang in there and make sure you have a firm foundation.
Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. Matthew 7:25 [NLT]

Is your marriage on a firm foundation? If it's not what do you need to get it there?


  1. With a 50% divorce rate, it is hard to imagine that people don't enter into marriage with wider eyes, deeper commitment and fewer false expectations. I've long said that people must really think that marriage is a slow motion run in a field of flowers. Tough are inherent in a long term relationships but when you count them, a good marriage will reveal that there are MORE amazing good times than there are bad ones. But you are so right, it is often the way that people crumble in the tough times because they decide that it all there is.

    I remember being in a bible study once where the person teaching the class was taking a hard stand on marriage. It went something like this: "Once married, always married, no divorce ever . . . under any circumstances." This severely unhinged the woman sitting beside me, who had been in a troublesome marriage (spousal abuse, alcoholism, etc), that said emphatically God would not have wanted her to remain in. The bible study leader was flummoxed. I thought to myself that not all marriages can survive the tough times because if those times threaten your very life, you have to work on a Plan B.

    I'm not quite sure why I am sharing this or what in your post elicited these thoughts but my heart went out to this woman and all woman who find themselves in her situation. But, I do agree that marriage is a relationship that has to be entered into with reverence, due diligence, introspection and time to observe. God's plan was for a union of until death do ye part.

    Tough times should never be a signal to quit . . . if one has allowed God to select their mate, then the tough times are fleeting with survival through those times a given.

    Thanks for the post. I'm sending you a picture.


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