I originally started this blog as a result of my brother's death, and because of the words of a very wise 18 year old who said, "in my young life I've experienced my share of death and it makes us appreciate life more." Those words were the impetus for this blog.
I find writing cathartic, but I dont only want to write about things related to his death - but things that I enjoy in life. They may be as a result of his death, but more times than not, they're not. What I've come to realize - is life is for living; lifes too short - there are no guarantees in life except: you are born and you will die; so make the most of it.
So, I've said the above to say that I'll be expanding the things I write about and they may have no connection to my brother's death.
Keep reading to find out more!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Opportunity
I recently read a book about Jamie Dimon called Last Man Standing, which led to subsequent discussions. BTW, Jamie Dimon is the current CEO of JPMorgan Chase.
One of the things that stands out about Mr. Dimon is the opportunity he received.
Another thing was exposure - banking was in his blood and it was talked about at the dinner table.
But I want to talk about opportunity - because much has been made of it. Opportunity is defined as: a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal;a good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success.
In life, you try to enrich, educate and evaluate yourself so that when an opportunity presents itself you are ready for it. This opportunity may be a mate, a job, a promotion, a house, confirmation of a plan, a child, healing, anything. Opportunity takes on many forms and I think that's what makes it so hard to jump when it becomes available.
But what if your opportunity never comes? What if you never get married, or you never get the job, or you never get the promotion, or you dont get the house, or you can't have children, or you are not healed?
Seems like so many of us are in the missed opportunity camp, than being able to grasp on to these opportunities. Do we become bitter and cynical? Do we curse God and die? Or do we recognize that even in these missed opportunities, God is in control. Maybe that's not what God had in store for you.
Perhaps we can refocus our lenses and recognize that opportunities abound - but all may not be for you. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up IN DUE TIME. 1 Peter 5:6
One of the things that stands out about Mr. Dimon is the opportunity he received.
Another thing was exposure - banking was in his blood and it was talked about at the dinner table.
But I want to talk about opportunity - because much has been made of it. Opportunity is defined as: a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal;a good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success.
In life, you try to enrich, educate and evaluate yourself so that when an opportunity presents itself you are ready for it. This opportunity may be a mate, a job, a promotion, a house, confirmation of a plan, a child, healing, anything. Opportunity takes on many forms and I think that's what makes it so hard to jump when it becomes available.
But what if your opportunity never comes? What if you never get married, or you never get the job, or you never get the promotion, or you dont get the house, or you can't have children, or you are not healed?
Seems like so many of us are in the missed opportunity camp, than being able to grasp on to these opportunities. Do we become bitter and cynical? Do we curse God and die? Or do we recognize that even in these missed opportunities, God is in control. Maybe that's not what God had in store for you.
Perhaps we can refocus our lenses and recognize that opportunities abound - but all may not be for you. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up IN DUE TIME. 1 Peter 5:6
Monday, November 22, 2010
Hair, and other inane things
I like when men are involved in aspects of life that we women sometimes find annoying - the key is balance.
My brother has 2 girls and 2 boys. I remember in the early days, when we (his wife and I) spent alot of time talking about hair. How to make it more manageable, different styles, products that worked, etc... apparently he was listening. Fast forward to August of the summer before he died. I was visiting and somehow the conversation came around to hair. At this point in time his wife and two daughters were wearing sister locs and had been wearing them for at least ten years. I remember when his wife stumbled on to this hairstyle. His daughters and his wife now both have mid back length hair. Anyhow we were talking about swimming - and my brother said, "Either way (whether you perm or stay natural) its all maintenance. You still got to take care of your hair." This made me smile - I guess being surrounded by three women and their routines, you get to learn something about hair care. He took it all in stride.
My brother has 2 girls and 2 boys. I remember in the early days, when we (his wife and I) spent alot of time talking about hair. How to make it more manageable, different styles, products that worked, etc... apparently he was listening. Fast forward to August of the summer before he died. I was visiting and somehow the conversation came around to hair. At this point in time his wife and two daughters were wearing sister locs and had been wearing them for at least ten years. I remember when his wife stumbled on to this hairstyle. His daughters and his wife now both have mid back length hair. Anyhow we were talking about swimming - and my brother said, "Either way (whether you perm or stay natural) its all maintenance. You still got to take care of your hair." This made me smile - I guess being surrounded by three women and their routines, you get to learn something about hair care. He took it all in stride.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Brother, Are You at Peace?
So many conversations since your death. So much revelation - hopefully some growth for all affected.
So if I could talk to you now, I would ask you, "Are you at peace?"
I can't imagine what it was like to be young and in the prime of your life and to find out your diagnosis. I'm sure initially you had no idea what this meant, as you'd said to me in conversation, but over time it became clear. Physically, you were losing a piece of yourself, daily (it would seem). Physically, that must have been hard to watch and endure. The pain and all the unknowns. Emotionally and spiritually you had to come to grips with what was happening. As a spiritual person, whose faith was your bedrock I'm sure now this disease rocked your faith. I heard it in your voice when you were discouraged. I'm glad you didn't give in or give up, but through the end held on to your faith.
Oh, but the going through - must have been hard. Having a wife and children watch you. Fighting the demons in your mind. Maybe those thoughts became stronger than reality.
You were married - what a blessing. When we get married we take vows and I think we have no idea what we're saying, it's our intention that's good. In sickness and in health took on new meaning in your situation. Your sickness took on a life of its own. Your sickness, her health.
When you're sick and chronically ill - you are not 100%. You begin to feel less than a person. As a male, you acknowledged that this was a hard position for you.
Not being able to take care of your family as you wish - less than.
Everyone having to do for you - less than.
Tailoring your diet - less than.
Losing your teeth - less than.
Arthritis - less than.
Losing lots of weight - less than.
On an oxygen tank - less than.
You were sick - everyone else was well. But in little ways, you became more than your illness.
You were able to take long car trips - more than.
You were able to discipline the children - more than.
You were able to set an example for your family- more than.
You were able to love your wife - more than.
You were able to talk - more than.
You were able to study - more than.
In living and fighting this illness I'm sure they were many things that were left unsaid. I wish you would have said them. Your wife, in your last days, allowed us to have the opportunity to spend time with you. God bless her for doing that, even though it turned out to be quite difficult.
You were the big brother - a position of pride. You had differing relationships with each person, but you never told us bye. You told many friends - see you in heaven, but you never told us. I knew the end was near but you never acknowledged it with me.
The strangest things bring back memories - shortbread biscuits. Do you remember the first time you baked them in school and came home with that smile of pride on your face and duplicated it for us? I ate shortbread biscuits the other day and it brought back this memory. Listening to Chuck Colson on the radio and hearing the word worldview and remembering that you took a course with this organization. I regret that I didn't listen more.
I don't know if you were at peace in your last hours, but I surely hope you are now.
So if I could talk to you now, I would ask you, "Are you at peace?"
I can't imagine what it was like to be young and in the prime of your life and to find out your diagnosis. I'm sure initially you had no idea what this meant, as you'd said to me in conversation, but over time it became clear. Physically, you were losing a piece of yourself, daily (it would seem). Physically, that must have been hard to watch and endure. The pain and all the unknowns. Emotionally and spiritually you had to come to grips with what was happening. As a spiritual person, whose faith was your bedrock I'm sure now this disease rocked your faith. I heard it in your voice when you were discouraged. I'm glad you didn't give in or give up, but through the end held on to your faith.
Oh, but the going through - must have been hard. Having a wife and children watch you. Fighting the demons in your mind. Maybe those thoughts became stronger than reality.
You were married - what a blessing. When we get married we take vows and I think we have no idea what we're saying, it's our intention that's good. In sickness and in health took on new meaning in your situation. Your sickness took on a life of its own. Your sickness, her health.
When you're sick and chronically ill - you are not 100%. You begin to feel less than a person. As a male, you acknowledged that this was a hard position for you.
Not being able to take care of your family as you wish - less than.
Everyone having to do for you - less than.
Tailoring your diet - less than.
Losing your teeth - less than.
Arthritis - less than.
Losing lots of weight - less than.
On an oxygen tank - less than.
You were sick - everyone else was well. But in little ways, you became more than your illness.
You were able to take long car trips - more than.
You were able to discipline the children - more than.
You were able to set an example for your family- more than.
You were able to love your wife - more than.
You were able to talk - more than.
You were able to study - more than.
In living and fighting this illness I'm sure they were many things that were left unsaid. I wish you would have said them. Your wife, in your last days, allowed us to have the opportunity to spend time with you. God bless her for doing that, even though it turned out to be quite difficult.
You were the big brother - a position of pride. You had differing relationships with each person, but you never told us bye. You told many friends - see you in heaven, but you never told us. I knew the end was near but you never acknowledged it with me.
The strangest things bring back memories - shortbread biscuits. Do you remember the first time you baked them in school and came home with that smile of pride on your face and duplicated it for us? I ate shortbread biscuits the other day and it brought back this memory. Listening to Chuck Colson on the radio and hearing the word worldview and remembering that you took a course with this organization. I regret that I didn't listen more.
I don't know if you were at peace in your last hours, but I surely hope you are now.
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