On Being Nice

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Being nice is such a rare quality that when we run in to it we are shocked. Yet as Christians we are called to be nice, to be light in a dark world, to help those who need help and to do it from a place of love. Part of being nice is to do a good deed and not expect anything in return.

Now I'm using nice because that's a word that everyone can relate to; nice seems better than good. Nice implies that you go the extra mile. Nice is just nice.

On a recent road trip we were genuinely surprised by the niceness of those we came in contact with. I don't know about you, but for us, whenever we take a road trip we hope and pray nothing goes wrong and do a general checkup on our cars to make sure everything is fine.  The trip was about 5-6 hours, so a general checkup seemed to be all that was necessary.  We started on our trip and everything was going fine until we had to conquer this huge hill on the I5 (elevation 2000 ft), and that was when our car gave out. She just died right there in the middle lane. We were able to navigate off the road and call AAA. It so happens this particular stretch of road claims a lot of cars, so when we pulled over we were right behind a sheriff assisting another car.

So far nothing nice and all the makings for a disastrous trip.

AAA eventually came after an hour. The car was towed and we all had to ride in the tow truck or the van. The driver of the tow truck was very pleasant. He told us how he drives up and down that hill all day and he's not afraid. We drove up the hill then down the hill and exited at the nearest town with a mechanic. By this time it's about 5:30 pm - the time when people are looking to end their day. The mechanics did not rush us - as a matter of fact they took the time to inspect, diagnose and provide solutions. The transmission was gone. So now we are officially without a car. The mechanics also made calls to car rentals and  found one that would rent a car to us.  The mechanics then drove us over to the car rental location.

For whatever reason, I was never flustered during this process (but my husband was).  We ran in to a little snafu while trying to rent the car, but ultimately we were able to rent the car. Four hours later, we were on our way.

As we were driving, I wondered why I was so genuinely surprised by the niceness of the mechanics and the tow truck driver. The answer struck me - it's because we're not used to people being nice to us for no reason at all. We always think there's an ulterior motive, or that we're being scammed. This world is tough, but this made me realize that I need to constantly work on being nice, just because. As Christians, we are encouraged to be nice - it's a way of reaching others and letting our light shine.

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?  

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:1-4 (NLT)

Are you genuinely nice? Do you expect something in return for being nice? Does being unappreciated stop you from being nice?

Gratitude

At the beginning of this year, I decided that I would make a conscious effort to be thankful and here's why.
Being thankful

• Shifts  your mindset
• Makes you positive
• Makes you happy
• Builds character
• Improves health
• Reduces anger

I can attest to all of the above but my attempt at keeping a journal literally did not go so well initially.

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 It felt like a chore and I found myself being grateful for the same things everyday - life, health, my family, a roof over my head. But the more I started to think of these things that I was taking granted, the more I realized I had a lot to be thankful for. Even if it seemed trivial, I was going to be thankful.  And by golly now that a quarter of the year is gone it has become incrementally easier to have an attitude of gratitude. I am thankful that the Little One is always happy; I am thankful that I was able to meet my deadline; I am thankful for the beauty of potential; I am grateful that I believe in someone bigger than myself. Sometimes, I'm actually thankful for a messy house.

One morning as I was reading the Bible, this verse jumped out at me and  it seemed to have new meaning:

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

 I will be filled with joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 9:1,2 (NLT)

Even the scriptures were encouraging me to be grateful.  You don't have to write it down, but if that helps you then do so. But more importantly, strive to be grateful every second of every day - it will make a huge difference to you and those around you.

Regardless of your circumstance, I challenge and encourage you to possess an attitude of gratitude.

Do you have an attitude of gratitude?

Unintended Hiatus

Sometimes life gives you the breaks that you won't take yourself - that's what happened here in LifeNotes.

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My current day job is heavily rules based and deadline driven; that deadline occurred on March 26th. This year seemed the most harrowing as it was close to the wire. For my sanity, I kept visualizing March 27th knowing we had made it.

Source - this was how I felt

I didn't have time to write.

I didn't have time for the multiple Bible Studies I was involved in.

I almost didn't have time for friends, but they understood and knew it was temporary.

While this deadline consumed me for the past weeks it was good to take a break and just do something else even if it was only for an hour.

I made time for the things that were important, and everything else had to fall by the wayside.

The stress of the deadline wreaked havoc on my body but it also helped to provide some much needed clarity.

It takes time to write; it takes time to create; it takes time to inspire.
These are the things I want to spend most of my time doing and to that end I'm making some changes to ensure that outcome.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thanks for reading and for the new followers I've picked up along the way.

I was able to write a series on Marriage, which I'm quite happy with. Being able to do this restored some of my sanity. If you haven't read it yet, please do.
Read all of this series:
Part one - Believe The Best
Part two - The Gift of Marriage
Part three - Unload Your Baggage 
Part four - Romance is NOT Dead
Part five - What Keeps a Marriage Together?

LifeNotes is here to encourage you. Be encouraged.

25 on 25 - What Keeps a Marriage Together?

Today is our 25th Anniversary.

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When I completed my Masters in Educational Administration, I was surprised to learn that reflection was such a huge part of the educational landscape. Many scholarly articles and research have been written on reflective practices in education. Reflection in education is - "the capacity to reflect on action so as to engage in a process of continuous learning." If reflection is pivotal in Education, it seems a natural progression that reflection can be applied to other areas of life particularly marriage. As I reflected, the questions that kept coming up were, "What keeps a marriage together? What makes a marriage thrive? What makes us so special, when so many quit?"

From my vantage point the answer is shared values. That may not have been the answer you expected but shared values are foundational to everything else.
Values are things you believe in, that anchor you, that in today's lingo are "non-negotiable". Values keep you when you don't feel the love or when you're on different pages. Shared values force you as a unit to unite.

Artist's Rendition of us on our Honeymoon

Shared values over the years:

• Shared faith - for us our faith,our Christian beliefs determine how we live. It is intertwined in everything we do. In our marriage we have seen the truth of the scripture "Iron sharpens Iron", as we have both benefited from the sharpening affect of iron. We both take our faith seriously and we both want to grow. Sometimes we challenge each other but more often than not, life also challenges us. We have hung in there and are better for it.
• Mutual respect and trust - I trust my husband without reservation and he does the same for me. Now I know this is uncommon, but what's the alternative? I don't have a reason to not trust my husband, and if there is ever a doubt we can talk it out.
• Support - My husband has said he wants the best for me, he wants to see me happy, (BTW, I don't always remember this when I'm annoyed with him) but he is unwavering in his support. It bothers him when he can't do something to make me happy, but since I know his heart and his intent, that is often enough for me. I'm in California as a show of support for my husband, and he's hugely appreciative of the efforts made on his behalf.
• Children - we both wanted children but differed on the number. We both valued raising Godly children but our methods were different. Over the years we just kept working it out: sometimes both of us have no clue what we're doing; sometimes its clear one person has great insight in a particular area so the other just steps back and sometimes it is absolutely reassuring when both of us are saying the same thing and passing on Godly wisdom to our children.  It's at times like these we know we have shared values.

These may be the most important, but there are others - such as friendship, honesty, perseverance, and  generosity, just to name a few.

So, we're here. It's important to remember and reflect. It's important to celebrate. We feel blessed to have made it this far and we hope to have many more years together.

Read all of this series:
Part one - Believe The Best
Part two - The Gift of Marriage
Part three - Unload Your Baggage
Part four - Romance is NOT Dead

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