Saturday, March 5, 2011

Anniversaries & Birthdays

When I die don't cry for me
Waste not your tears I'll be up in glory
Dont cry for me; dont cry for me.

Every time I hear that song, I think of my brother. I know he's in glory because he made that clear through out his life. Some times I have this vision of him smiling down at us, because he has a new body. Some times I think he's shaking his head because of the discord that persists; but more often than not I think he's smiling. When I think of his smile - I remember how many commented that he & I had the same smile. I think I smile more now that he's gone - ironic, isn't it?

As I smile, I think about my life. God has blessed me with a loving husband and four children. Today, my son, who is the oldest also turns twenty one. In the 21 years that have passed, I think about his birth (he had a BIG head), his intellect, his wit, his trials and temptations, his character and I must say I'm proud of him(as only a mother can be!).

In life we go through so many things and when you're going through the time seems magnified. But when you look back, you have new found perspective. Those 21 years seem like a blur right now. One of my last memories of brother involved both of these men (my brother and my son); at the time it did not seem very pleasant. My brother discovered a post on FB where my son used very foul language, which was not in line with the way we as his parents speak or act. He raised the concern to me - initially I was taken back. I reviewed the post and had to agree with my brother. My husband and I spoke to my son about it. Soon after he died. I'd like to think that our conversation and my brother's life had a huge impact on my son's life and his actions. My son said as much at the funeral.

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