Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Come Apart

When I lived in NY, it was relatively easy to send my children down to Jamaica for the summer. We started doing this when the oldest was around 8 and the youngest 5 (at that time there was no #4). My mother in law came up with this brilliant idea, and we looked at each other and said, "Why not?" Sometimes they travelled unattended, or they went down with a family friend. That first summer, I rested and worked. I did not go gallivanting or painting the town red - I didn't have the energy to do so. It felt so good to come home, take my shoes off, remove my bra and just sit down and do absolutely nothing. Since it was just me and my husband, we didn't make a big deal about dinner.  I really got tired of everyone looking at me as if I had two heads when I said the children were away for the summer. Invariably the next question was, "Don't you miss them?" Of course I missed them but that didn't mean I didn't need a breather. That first summer, I was so exhausted I honestly didn't miss the children until a week before they were scheduled to come home. Looking back, I'm glad we did this as they got exposure to another culture (in addition to everything else) and my husband and I got a chance to reconnect.

My In-laws are divorced, so every year there was a struggle or a dance as to how Granddaddy would get to see the grand kids. Until I was involved in this, I never knew this existed. It was awkward for my husband but he wanted to ensure that the children knew both grand parents and they did.

Now that I live in CA, its not so easy to send the little one down (#4), so this year I went with her. She's like an only child, so she spends alot of time around older people.  Her Step-grandfather drills her everyday on geography and spelling and she enjoys it. Grandmother dotes on her.

This is the first time that I've come to Jamaica by myself. My husband will do the 50th year independence celebration and come down and pick her up. Typically, he's my tour guide but this time, I'm hanging with my mother in law.

At Goblin Hill,, Port Antonio Jamaica
The older children are growing up and trying to find their way; I'm in Jamaica on vacation, but still working and plotting what I will do with the rest of my life. I have time to relax and reflect in a beautiful place. I find that if I don't come apart and rest awhile then I will come apart!

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them,“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

Are you resting? Do you feel the need to take a break from everything around you including your offspring? When was the last time you took a break? Do you deal with grandparent divorce wars?

PS - I'm having all sorts of weird problems with networkblogs and disqus, but please continue to read and follow.


  1. Shelly from MomfilesJuly 10, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Well you surely look gorgeous and well rested! I do want to get away and take a break. Sometimes I jump in my car and see where it takes me for a few hours just to be alone. I don't think I would ever go out of town though. Glad you have had such a nice time :-)

  2. Enjoy yourself! I would love to go to Jamaica to relax.

  3. So amazing. I love Jamaica! I hope that you are feeling rested and enjoying yourself. You certainly look like you are :)

  4. You look fabulous! I hope you are enjoying yourself in JA. I went down last May to bring my MIL back here to live. Right about now I could use a little JA sun and relaxation! Have some ackee and salftfish for me.

  5. I really enjoyed the honesty in your writing. I have been to Jamaica many times and I hope you enjoy it as much as I have in the past. As for leaving my little man for the summer, I don't think I could do it. I do agree with you that having our children experience different cultures is very important.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us! Your words always sound so honest! I completely agree with you that there are plenty of things no one ever tells you about getting divorced. It's so true saying that people, even those you meet years after your marriage has ended, will look at you differently.


I love reading your comments; but please be kind. Unkind comments will be removed.