Sunday, May 8, 2022

Maternal Ramblings


April showers bring May flowers and Mother's Day. Some would prefer the flowers over the annual celebration that acknowledges our mothers, but I'm not one of those. I appreciate the flowers and the celebration of the day itself.

Until I became a mother, I can't recall that we ever spoiled our mother as children on this day. It might have been cultural (we grew up in the Bahamas), but we should have, considering what it took for her to deal with eight children. 

As a child, I had no idea all that went into motherhood and only saw what I thought was the detritus of a soulless caregiving role. The yelling, the never-ending chores, and trying to split herself into eight so we were all happy. Subconsciously, I wanted none of it. 

Recently I had a conversation with a girlfriend where we talked about our journeys to motherhood. I asked, "Did you aspire to be a mother when you grew up? Was it something you dreamed about?" She said no. I asked because motherhood was never a goal of mine. I hear women longing to have children, and I've never understood it.

Now to be clear, I wasn't entirely against becoming a mom, but it was never anything I was in a rush to do or dreamed about.

And then I became a mother!

Motherhood is complex, just like the day that does its best to celebrate it. Not to oversimplify my feelings, but I've learned to embrace all of them. And just like all things in life aren't the same for everyone, this day is the same. Motherhood "grew me up," and I will celebrate anything that brings growth. I've made it to the other side of motherhood, where the kids are grown, and we all like each other! Whenever I laugh with my children, or we're in a group chat playing the fool, I give God thanks.

Life is about appreciating each other, our roles, and our experiences. Life is about grace, recognizing that so much is extended to us so we can do the same for each other. Life is about forgiveness; no one's perfect; relationships require a regular dose of forgiveness. I've tried to bring these attributes, and more into my relationships in general, so my children were not exempt.

If your children aren't in your life, mother someone who appreciates you. If you're missing your mom like I am, do something that honors her memory. If your hopes of becoming a mom are dashed through infertility, miscarriages, or other reasons, I don't know what to say, but hugs speak a language where words fail. Perhaps this may be a good time to talk with the mothers in your life. 

Motherhood is complex! Wherever you find yourself on this one day, know that God sees you and understands your situation. I plan to enjoy this day. 

--Nylse

PS - that photo is my girls and me; my son is missing from the picture.

Thanks for reading. Please take a moment to share using the buttons below. Like my Facebook Page and follow along on Instagram. Don't forget to subscribe. If you're reading my new book The Comfort of Night, please leave a review on Amazon or the publisher's site. Stay Encouraged!


6 comments:

  1. Motherhood is a wonderful thing! I, too, never really "dreamed" about it, but I SO love being a mom!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nylse, I love your maternal ramblings here. This really is an uplifting post that I so appreciated reading your words.
    Visiting today from Recharge Wednesday #20

    ReplyDelete
  3. I enjoyed reading about your mum and your appreciation for her --retroactively! It's almost as if we have to grow into an understanding of our mother's love and sacrifice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nylse, I so agree with you - motherhood grew me up! The many lessons I learned along the way of being a mom and now a Mimi have amazed me. I expect there will be many more yet to come :) Lessons that is!

    ReplyDelete
  5. We didn't spoil our mother either (USA), I think motherhood was regarded differently in the past versus today when there is much more appreciation expressed. It's wonderful that you grew up in the Bahamas! My grandfather grew up in Grand Cayman.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So very beautiful! I love being a mom and grandmother! And very true, indeed, motherhood grew me up. 💗

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your comments; but please be kind. Unkind comments will be removed.