Samson's Women Trouble

The three women in Samson’s life were Gentiles. The first was the woman from Timnah whom he married, the second was the whore from Gaza, and the third was the only woman mentioned by name, Delilah, with whom Samson “fell in love.” According to the Biblical account, Samson’s relations with these women were a means to avenge the Philistines. (Jewish Women's Encyclopedia)

Samson's only wife was a woman from Timnah. She caught his eye one day, and that was all she wrote! He told his parents to do what they could to make this marriage happen. “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.” (Judges 14:1-2)

His parents objected but ultimately acquiesced. They didn't realize that God was orchestrating this connection so that he could ultimately deliver Israel from the Philistines. (Judges 14:4)
Samson's parents were well intentioned, provided guidance. However, they weren't aware of the details of God's plan for Samson's life. They probably thought that since he was a Nazarite that what they were suggesting made sense. But I also noticed they didn't put up a real fight and they went along with his decision. His parents were at the celebration.

For brevity, the following happened (Judges 14:5-19):

On the way to Timnah for wedding preparations, he killed a lion.
On the second trip to Timnah for the wedding, he ate honey from the dead lion's carcass.
At the wedding celebration, he told a riddle based on his exploits with the lion that no one could figure out.
On the fourth day, the Philistines still couldn't figure out Samson's riddle.
The Philistines told her to entice her husband - Samson. so they could solve the riddle.
His wife wore him down until he gave her the answer which she then told to the Philistines.

"If you hadn't plowed with my heifer you wouldn't have solved my riddle." (Judges 14:18) To me, this sounds like a derogatory view of his wife. This would be consistent since throughout his life he didn't seem to have great respect for women; they were only good for one thing. But this statement also indicates that she was more willing to oblige others than her husband. In trying to keep her people happy she lost her husband and ultimately her life. Samson didn't know how to communicate with his wife or manage himself (i.e. he had no self-control).

And then he got angry.

He used his strength to kill 30 men, then went back home to his parent's house. He left his wife.

It's unfortunate, but his wife became the best man's wife without Samson's knowledge. At some point, Samson decided he wants to go back to his wife only to discover she is no longer his. All he has is his strength so one thing leads to another and his wife is killed as an act of vengeance. (Judges 15)

Now he's angry again and when he's angry he's strong.

He escapes, is captured and returned, pretends to be subdued, releases himself and uses, his strength to kill 1000 men with the jawbone of a donkey. After this eventful start, he judged Israel for 20 years. During the course of his leadership, we meet his other liaisons - a prostitute and then Delilah. We don't know why Samson never married again, but he may have been employing the adage, "Once bitten, twice shy." This was not clear thinking and was not the best choice, as we will see.

So he spent a night with a prostitute and then he fell in love with Delilah. (Judges 16:4-22)

Delilah was more upfront than his first wife - she specifically wanted to know the source of his strength so that she could tell the Philistines. She was honest and did not have his best interest at heart. Samson knew this and probably thought he could outsmart her - but she wears him down by nagging him, literally to his death. Three times he gave her different scenarios because he was a bit of a prankster, and three times she tried. By the fourth time, he finally tells her the source of his strength. Delilah must have been real good because she was persistent. This is when we wonder about Samson's intellect because Delilah was clear in her mission, but Samson seemed to be blinded by lust and perhaps an over-reliance on his strength.

Samson had a gift but he didn't seem to know how to use it wisely. He didn't develop it, he just knew he had it. It was a good way to get out of trouble or toy with people. In spite of Samson's woman trouble, he was able to have the presence of mind to judge/lead Israel for 20 years. He had strength in leadership, God-given strength and a weakness for women. What a combination.

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32

What can you learn from Samson's choices in women?

--Nylse

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Really Bad Relationship Advice

I recently read this dialogue in an advice column of a popular magazine:

Q: I am a 25-year-old virgin. How can I satisfy my boyfriend without going all the way?A: Think of your man's body as the world's best amusement park. Sure, some may come only to ride the Big Dipper, but there are other thrills to be had—if you're willing to explore off the beaten path. Rub your man's feet, whisper in his ear, lick his neck. And if you really want to set off fireworks, give him a handy. A hand job is the safest sex there is. It leaves your man satisfied, and you don't even have to take off your clothes, unless you want to. Simply undo his pants and Ooh! and Ah! over his magnificence (good sex is 80 percent enthusiasm). Squeeze a generous amount of lubricant into the palm of your hand and handle his business. If your man's face is twisted up like his baby toe is stuck in a mousetrap, you're doing great. Feeling hot and bothered yourself? Let him return the favor.

There are so many things wrong here. If this question were posed to me, here's what I would say instead:

Why is it important to satisfy your boyfriend sexually if you are a virgin? Is this an area that you talk about? Does he or you  not understand what virginity entails? Is being a virgin important to you?  Once you try to satisfy your boyfriend sexually, without technically having sex, many things can ensue.  You are putting yourself in a predicament that you may not be able to escape from.  Two old adages comes to mind - "Play with fire, you get burn" and "Don't start something you can't finish!" If you value your virginity, then don't try to satisfy your boyfriend sexually.  Get to know your boyfriend - his character, morals, his spiritual foundation - these are the things that make a man and these things are important. Sex should be reserved for marriage; if this were truly the mindset many hurt feelings and emotional dramas (not to mention other consequences), would be spared on both sides.

Just because it feels good does not mean you are entitled to it at this point in time. Sex was meant to feel good - but there is a time and an order for everything.  When you're in a relationship with a male, establish a new normal for you; establish this from the beginning so that you won't have to deal with this unfounded worry.

As a Christian, don't look to the world for sound Biblical advice.  If you follow the advice above you will end up with sticky fingers and being hot and bothered.  Instead, transform your mind by renewing it, shun evil or the very appearance of, love your body, as it is a temple and save yourself for marriage.

What do you think of the advice above? What would you tell your 25 yr old daughter? Do you think it's unrealistic to be a virgin at 25?