The Beauty of Grief

Grief is a complex emotion. To grieve indicates loss usually of something or someone precious and dear. There are no pat answers to grief and no one prescribed way to handle grief. There is a time to mourn and a time to rejoice (Ecclesiastes 3:4), so while there's no time frame there's a limit to grief. When Naomi lost her husband and subsequently her sons it seemed as if her world was falling apart. She was in a strange land, with no immediate family and two daughters in law - Ruth, and Orpah. In her grief, she decided it was best to go back home but Ruth chose to stay with her. Ruth chose to leave her country and cling to, travel with her mother in law. Ruth was also alone, for her husband, Naomi's son had died. So it was a circle of grief. But grief provided the impetus to go home, for Naomi, and may have allowed Ruth to connect with her. Ruth clung to Naomi (Ruth 1:14).

Grief isn't all bad. It gave these two women courage to travel alone and return to Bethlehem. It provided clarity and a little foolhardiness as it was rare for two women to be traveling alone over a lengthy period of time in those days. This journey may have taken anywhere from seven to ten days and it involved steep elevations and river crossings. All of that physical activity may have dulled the grief that both felt as they could only rely on God and each other. We know how the story of Naomi and Ruth ends, but they both had to go through their grief to get to the other side.

The anniversary of my mother's passing is September 1st and while sometimes I feel lost, the majority of the time since my mother's passing I have felt purposeful. Her death has lit a fire under my butt that reinforces that life is too short, life is for living, and there's no need to be afraid to try anything. Yes in a strange way my mother's death has given me a new lease on life. Since her passing, I have experienced a range of emotions. For example, when my mother was transitioning, and I saw how unmoored my dad was becoming I crazily thought that if my husband and I could die at the same time it would be good. Losing a life partner is difficult. There were established routines, and in death, there are no more.

I'm sure Naomi felt unsure of herself with the loss of her husband. And then when she thought she was getting a handle on things, her sons died. Even in grief, life goes on. In your grief, you may initially feel like Naomi - like the Lord has raised his fist to you; it's OK to acknowledge this feeling. But life goes on - there's still aspirations, dreams and hope while still dealing with the mundane and the minutiae. Life goes on. Hopefully, someone comes along to provide support, until you are able to do the same for others. Keep busy. Give all of your anguish to God for he understands. Allow grief to change your perspective on life and become more appreciative of every day you are given.

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime!

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5

How has the loss of someone changed you? May it ultimately change you for the better.

 --Nylse

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On Being a Wife

Wives in the Bible cover a broad spectrum, so that makes me hopeful. They weren't all perfect and some were downright wicked, can you say Jezebel?

First, there was Eve, the mother of civilization. Somehow, she took the devil's bait. Why did she do that? Look at where that got her.

Then there's Sarah - who was clearly beautiful and seemed to have a good relationship with Abraham. Twice she lied and said Abraham was her brother and both times Abraham instructed her to do so. She laughed when the angel said she would have a son, as did Abraham. But she had Isaac; at 90 that could not have been easy. I might have laughed also.

Other wives in the Bible:

Rebekah - Deceived her husband so that the son she loved would receive a blessing.

Zipporah - Despised by her in-laws because of her race; she was Ethiopian.

Lot's wife - She looked back and became a pillar of salt. (How's that for not listening to your husband?)

Job's wife - She told him to curse God and die. (Whatever became of her?)

Abigail - whose husband Nabal was noted as a fool; she had the good sense to do what was right and is noted as a woman of good understanding. She eventually became one of David's wives. I think many wives who have husbands who are not godly or not living as they think a Christian man should, use Abigail as their primary example as to how to deal with their husbands. Caution should be exercised before making this your default model.

Ruth -  Listened to her Mother In Law and found a good husband in Boaz.

Esther - Became queen while married to King Ahaseurus and saved her people.

Zeresh - Fed in to her husband's hatred for Mordecai; she instructed her husband, Haman, to build the gallows that he was eventually hung from. Hatred and bitterness never yield good results.

Priscilla - knowledgeable in the Scriptures and worked side by side with her husband, Aquilla.

Sapphira - dishonest with her husband Ananias; because of this they were both struck dead instantly.


Wives are called to be help meets. We are to help - do you know what helping entails? And why do men require so much help, and are not always willing to take it from the female species based on the way they're wired? The blue print for being a helpful wife can be pulled from some of the stories above, in addition to Proverbs, Ephesians, Colossians and Titus.

Being a wife is an honored role, yet not an easy role. It can be a tad complicated - if I do say so myself. Because God has clearly defined roles in marriage, we as wives are called to submit to our husbands. But submission is not demeaning nor does it take away your dignity. Submission is reflective of Christ's example - He was equal with God the Father, yet He chose to submit to the Father's will  (Colossians 1:19); we can see that submission is a voluntary choice - a good one I might add. But it is complicated because in marriage we are two fallen human beings who come together attempting to mirror Christ, and make something beautiful.

If you're like me some times you beat yourself up, because you may feel that you don't measure up. The examples above are to let you know that there is no situation that is too big for God. Regardless of our husbands, we are responsible for our actions - sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's not. No earthly relationship can ever function properly unless we have a correct relationship; a true relationship with the God of the Universe.

But be encouraged - being a wife is a token of the favor of God.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. 

Proverbs 18:22 [NLT]

What kind of wife are you?
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A Lineage of Grace - RUTH

This is the third in a series of women mentioned in the genealogy of Christ. To get caught up, check here and here.
Ruth - is one of the more romantic stories in the Bible, and in the retelling of this story, the author does not disappoint. Here's a scaled down version.

Ruth was Naomi's daughter in law and she was from Moab. Moab is where Naomi and her husband moved to for a better life, but it was not a Godly country. Naomi's husband and her two sons died, leaving her without someone to carry on the family name. At the same time Naomi heard that life was better back home, so Naomi decided to go back home to Bethlehem with her two daughters in law. She didn't anticipate that they would make the journey with her, after all, they were not from Bethlehem. Orphah chose to stay which was not a problem for Naomi, but Ruth decided to go wherever her mother in law was going, which was uncharacteristic. Somehow she had come to believe in Naomi's God, and made that famous statement found in the first chapter of Ruth:

16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-18

This may have been a turning point for Naomi, as up to this point she thought her life was bitter.
They travel to Bethlehem and end up working in the fields of Boaz. Boaz is a well respected guy, a bachelor, who had done well for himself by following Godly principles, and who took care of his employees. Boaz was also a relative of Naomi, and the son of Rahab.

Naomi recognizes that there is an opportunity for her line to be carried on through Boaz as he is what is known as a kinsman redeemer; she provides counsel to Ruth on what she needs to do, based on Israelite customs and guidelines from God.  Ruth is obedient and follows Naomi's instruction.

Ultimately, Boaz and Ruth are married and have a child named Obed, who was the father of Jesse (who was the father of David). Ruth was said to be better to Naomi than seven sons  - that is an amazing testimony.

They are many women in this story - Ruth, Naomi, Orphah; which one do you relate to? Naomi never seemed happy in Moab, but went because it was her husband's decision; based on the unfolding of the story, do you think God honored her decision? Even though Naomi was initially bitter, Ruth chose to follow her - what does that say about both women's character? Naomi was able to impart sound counsel to Ruth in spite of her circumstances; how was she able to do so? Can the same be said of us? Is it uncharacteristic to feel closer to your in-laws than your natural family?