Black Is Love

This is not my typical post, but since I've been Black all my life, I want to share my thoughts and reflections around Black History Month, which intersects with Valentine's Day; hence Black is Love.

I became aware of Black History Month through going to school in America. Without knowing America's history, I didn't understand the need for a month dedicated to Black History. Once it became clear, I never quibbled about it but have had mixed feelings about how this month is used in corporations, organizations, and the media.

Most times, the broader culture seems to celebrate this month, reluctantly forgetting that Black History is American History. 

Corporations try to tie it to diversity initiatives, but it falls flat because it is often lip service. The media tends to highlight important facts and figures around Black history, and so it is often at

Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage

This year will mark 31 years of marriage for my husband and I. Where does the time go? When we said our vows at the altar on that overcast morning all those years ago, we were young, happy and idealistic. We meant every word we said, but we had no clue how those words would play out over the years. We went through premarital counseling and had the necessary conversations. We even spoke to our pastors periodically for additional insight. As we continued to evolve yet stick to each other through thick and thin, it became apparent how the rose-colored glasses of unrealistic expressions could drain a marriage.

A Labor of Love

After birthing four children, I know intrinsically what is to labor for love. There's the initial excitement, then the arduous waiting while watching your body go through so many physical changes. Then there's the inevitable delivery where you're slightly afraid but you know that at the end of the process a new life will emerge from you. Throughout the entire process this new life is front and center - whether you are uncomfortable or have an uneventful pregnancy your only concern is for the life inside of you.

Writing a book is also a labor of love. The conception and gestation period were much shorter than in the natural as the thought for this book came about when my eldest daughter was embarking on her marriage journey last year. As her mother, she sought out so much advice from me that her impending nuptials provided an opportunity to share what I have learned over the years. There was the initial excitement, the daily discipline of writing, working with others, and then learning new processes so that this book could come to fruition.