In Honor of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King

As a young Afro-Carribean family living in America, we wanted to ensure our children knew who they were. One of the things that connected my husband and I was our knowledge of Black History and wanting our children to have better experiences than we had. We didn't want them to be judged by the color of their skin. 

We knew what it was like to navigate life as a Black person. We embraced who we are and wanted the same for our children. We never wanted them to feel less than others because of their skin color. We wanted them to walk through this world with confidence. On one of our many trips to Atlanta, we visited the King Center, which honors the life of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King. I soon became aware of his writing A Letter from a Birmingham Jail. At the time, it was a small book in the bookstore, but I remember my husband grabbing it, saying it was essential reading.

From the Birmingham jail, where he was imprisoned as a

Walking in the Rain

These days as we make the most of our restrictive environment, my mind wandered back to when I felt gloriously unrestrained.

We had settled into our new house in Brooklyn and had established a routine for day-to-day life. At the ripe old age of twelve, I took public transportation, navigating the streets of Brooklyn. I never felt afraid though I knew to be aware of my circumstances. 

One particular day, I was walking home from school because I missed my bus. It started to drizzle, and I realized I had no umbrella, nor was I wearing a jacket with a hood. We had an unspoken rule that we never got our hair wet as it meant washing, drying, braiding again. I had a relaxer at that time, so I also thought if my hair got wet, no big deal! (after all, wasn't that the point?) All of these thoughts ran through my mind initially as the rain became a steady

Guest Post - Living in Perspective by Xariah C

Xariah is an aspiring writer and singer. She recently graduated from HS and will be attending college in the fall. Though young, the depths of her thoughts belies her age. Read on.

"But now, LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are our potter. We are the work of your hands." Isaiah 64:8

How do you approach the presence of God?  When you draw near to God as your Heavenly Father, rather than a confusing unknown or a Sunday assignment, you will find yourself fully known and embraced. You were meant for a relationship with God, a bond that is set apart and built on knowing and trusting God as your Everlasting Father.

All who believe in Jesus are called to live as

Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage

This year will mark 31 years of marriage for my husband and I. Where does the time go? When we said our vows at the altar on that overcast morning all those years ago, we were young, happy and idealistic. We meant every word we said, but we had no clue how those words would play out over the years. We went through premarital counseling and had the necessary conversations. We even spoke to our pastors periodically for additional insight. As we continued to evolve yet stick to each other through thick and thin, it became apparent how the rose-colored glasses of unrealistic expressions could drain a marriage.

Ezra Bible Study - Celebrate: It's About HIM

Joy leaps out from the last five verses of Ezra 6. "And the people of Israel, the priests and the Levites, and the rest of the returned exiles celebrated the dedication of this house of God with joy (Ezra 6:16)." Joy is appropriate at this time as they remembered how God worked in and through them.

With God's help, the people of Israel had rebuilt the second temple. They started off enslaved, were freed by a new leader - King Cyrus, and journeyed to Jerusalem with directions to rebuild the temple. They mourned their losses while weeping for the promise of new things. Their leaders unified them, ensuring clearness of purpose. As they plodded along with the

Ezra Bible Study - Coming Home: Gratitude

So far, we've learned the significance of the role of Ezra as a priest and a scribe. As such, he provides a rich background of what happens to the Jews that are freed after Cyrus' proclamation. Catch up on this study here, here and here.

Finally, the first wave of exiles is on their way to Jerusalem. I'm sure there were excited and relieved, but also perhaps nervous and worried. Humans can get used to anything, and for those

Ezra Bible Study - Stirred: Cyrus' Proclamation

Ezra begins with a proclamation from King Cyrus, the king of the Persian Empire, considered the greatest ruling power in the world at that time. Cyrus was a great military leader, bent on universal conquest. Babylon fell before his army - B.C. 538 on the night of Belshazzar’s feast (Daniel. 5:30), and then the ancient dominion of Assyria was also added to his empire (Isaiah 21:2). In capturing Babylon, the Jews had new leadership under King Cyrus. The oft-quoted verse in Jeremiah 29 refers to the Jews who were in captivity. In Jeremiah 29:10, Jeremiah prophesies that after 70 years are passed in Babylon, I (God) will visit you because God knew the plans he had toward his people: thoughts of peace and not of evil to bring you an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11). God had plans for the Jews' freedom.

The Jews were no longer in captivity, but they were still in Babylon. If they knew of this prophecy, they probably could not conceive how their lives would turn around; how they would be the beneficiaries of peace

Just Like Two Plus Two Equals Four

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When you hear 2+2 =4, you automatically know that this equation is an absolute truth.  The outcome does not change based on your feelings or opinions. As a matter of fact, without me stating the outcome you know what it is because this is an obvious truth.

In mathematics, an equation is a statement of an equality containing one or more variables. Solving the equation consists of determining which values of the variables make the equality true.
An equation is analogous to a scale into which weights are placed. When equal weights of something (grain for example) are placed into the two pans, the two weights cause the scale to be in balance and are said to be equal. If a quantity of grain is removed from one pan of the balance, an equal amount of grain must be removed from the other pan to keep the scale in balance. Likewise, to keep an equation in balance, the same operations of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division must be performed on both sides of an equation for it to remain an equality. (wikipedia.com)

Today I want to highlight a verse that contains two equations that can help us and then what is often our response, even though it is laid out so clearly.

These equations are from Isaiah 30, a chapter about the Israelites having misplaced trust by not trusting in God. And since we are no different from the individuals in the Bible, let's see what this particular verse means.  

Trusting God's promise means returning. If there is conspicuous disobedience in our lives, we must return to the LORD's ways. Outright disobedience is never consistent with real trust in God's promise. Returning also has the idea of drawing close to the LORD.
Trusting God's promise means rest. When we trust God, we don't have to strive for ourselves. We don't have to run all about trying to protect or guard ourselves. We have the best Protector, the best Guard in God. We can rest in Him, and when we do, it shows we are really trusting in God's promise. (Source: BLB.org)

Trusting God's promise means quietness. You don't need to argue for your side when God is on your side. Be quiet before Him and before others. It shows that you really trust Him.
Trusting God's promise means confidence. You aren't given to despair or fear because you trust God's promise. You know He can and will come through, and you have a profound confidence in the God who loves you. (Source BLB.org)

All of these things together mean a real trust in God's promise, and it means that we shall be saved, and it means that we will find strength. There is no person walking this earth more powerful than a child of God boldly and properly trusting the promise of the living God! (Source BLB.org)

This verse ends with the phrase, "and you would not." Everything was laid out for them, yet they would not. I was struck by this phrase because so many times things are laid out plainly for us to our benefit and yet we choose otherwise. I have been guilty of this but as I re-read this passage this past week I am grateful for God's grace towards me; for the opportunity to return to Him (i.e. repent); for the rest he promises; for the quieting of my spirit overtime and the confidence he has imbued in me. I can confidently say he is my strength and salvation.  

For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not. Isaiah 30:15

What about you? Is God your salvation and strength?
--Nylse

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Independence

He whom the Son sets free is free indeed! You are truly free when you are a Christian - though the world would have you think that as a Christian you have to live with a bunch of rules and not have any fun. Nothing could be further from the truth. That sense of freedom you now possess is like the fireworks exploding on the 4th of July and filling the air with beauty. You're free because you're no longer a slave to sin, your thoughts, or your emotions - you don't have to be. You're free because you can trust whole-heartedly and even if you don’t get this right the first time, you're given many opportunities in life to learn how to trust.

Enjoy the long holiday weekend; spend time with family and friends (I plan to), eat sensibly and get some exercise in. Finally, meditate on God's goodness to us.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!

Feeling Misunderstood

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Do you ever feel misunderstood? In particular, do you feel misunderstood in the relationships that really matter to you? Have you noticed, that you never know when a misunderstanding may occur? This is why being misunderstood is so frustrating.

 The basis of being misunderstood is when our intentions don't line up with our actions.  However, usually, we feel misunderstood because our well-intentioned thoughts don't translate to well-meaning actions. I gather there are many scenarios for being misunderstood but the most common would be that you are well-intentioned. 

Being misunderstood is an opportunity to examine others and yourself. Let's start with others first. Intellectually we know that everyone will not understand us; everyone won't "get" us. There are myriad personalities in this world and even though personality assessments are done that group common characteristics of various personality types into subgroups, even within those subgroups there are huge variations. I have not met my twin - that person that is exactly like me. I watch House Hunters and one thing that I take away from this show is people like what they like and there's no rhyme or reason to it. That's how humans are with their personalities - it's the way we're wired and every facet of one's personality can't be explained or understood. The way we are wired can create misunderstanding. So it's pointless to try to be understood by all, but it grates when the ones closest to us seem to misunderstand us on a regular basis. I think this is when we have to look at the other person's personality and not confuse their personality with their character. Personality is an expression of who you are; it's your temperament; the way you do things; character is foundational and is based on your intrinsic morals and values. The core of who I am does not change but my expression of it may change. It's nuanced - but it may help in thinking about why misunderstandings occur and how to deal with them.

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Being misunderstood also requires that we look at ourselves, especially when we are misunderstood by people we care about. So here are some questions to ask ourselves:

• Are our motives sincere?
• Is my conscience clear?
• Am I trying to hide anything?

It's hard being misunderstood because sometimes it seems as if there is no way to clear it up. It seems like a no-win proposition and the answer seems to be "just don't do the thing that caused the misunderstanding in the first place." That's not realistic. For example, if I have a tendency of laughing before I make a point, you may think I'm laughing at you when the reality is my laughter is a reflex that had nothing to do with you. Now I can work this and explain this to you but it doesn't mean it won't ever happen again. My husband and children may know this but they won't always remember this, but as long as they remember that I meant no harm, the misunderstanding is easily resolved. And if I'm really not laughing at them, but it's purely a reflex then we're good. But this is why it's important to examine yourself to ensure that your intentions were well-meaning.

Ultimately, being misunderstood is a facet of life; some of us handle it better than others. Do what you can and know that you're ok especially after you've examined yourself and carry on. But examine yourself; don't rely on this is the way I am and there's nothing I can do to change it.  The essence of you won't change but adjustments can be made - that's life. Being misunderstood recognizes that we will be adjusting until we leave this earth and this is the hard part for all of us. Let's take it one misunderstanding at a time, so that we have the grace to carry on. Don't linger in the misunderstanding, move on.

It has been suggested that when you are misunderstood, you repeat these four sentences:
It’s not about me. It’s not about now. It’s all about God. It’s all about eternity. (Source)

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 1 Peter 5:6 [NLT]

How do you handle being misunderstood?

Driving Thoughts - Independence

I remember when the idea of driving first was embedded in my brain. It probably was walking to church for the thousandth time, or after running to catch a bus and just missing it. As a teenager driving represented independence, and I wanted that; the ability to get in my car and go anywhere of my choosing without answering to anyone; I was dreaming but this is what I wanted.

Way back then, I went to driving school and even took some lessons with my future husband. Parallel parking posed the biggest challenge so I wanted to make sure that I got that right. Nowadays, parallel parking is not a big deal; here in CA it wasn't a big focus of the test. My, how times have changed, but in Brooklyn we needed to know how to parallel park on the left and right sides of the street. The day of my road test, I was slightly nervous and the rain had  just ended. I remember my instructor appeared a little grumpy; but don't they all seem that way when you're trying to gain your independence? I splashed through a puddle but that was not considered a major infraction, and then I parallel parked - perfectly! I got my license on the first try.

I remember when a girlfriend of mine first got her license. It was a Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn and we had nothing to do, so we thought we'd drive to Flatbush Avenue and peruse some of the stores. She felt lucky in that she had her father's car for the afternoon which was no mean feat for her. She picked me up in her father's jalopy; the car was gray and huge. It was bigger than the two of us combined. Her biggest concern, which soon became mine - where would we ever find a spot to park this monstrosity? It felt good being out and about, driving and talking, but parking the car was always looming. We reached our destination, but every time we thought we saw a parking spot that big old grey jalopy wouldn't fit and Nads could not maneuver the car to get in to the spot. For most spots, I kept insisting it could fit. She would try, I would cheer, but it wouldn't fit. Finally, we found a spot. It wasn't perfect but I definitely thought she could fit.  It appeared to be quite nerve wracking for Nads, as she attempted to remember everything she learned in driving school to park that car, while not hitting anyone or anything. We laughed triumphantly once she parked the car.

We weren't Thelma and Louise but the car was just as big!

Now that I had my independence, I was afraid to use it. When I first started driving, I was deathly afraid of driving on the highway, but I did not have the patience to take local roads everywhere; that was not practical.

I'm going down memory lane again.

I'm a newlywed and we are a one car household. I tried using public transportation in suburbia, but what would normally take 20 minutes driving took 2 hours.  I was pregnant with my first child, and I thought this is for the birds, I have my license, I can drive. So a friend of ours was selling a car but she lived in Queens. At the time we lived in Long Island and we were about an hour's drive away from Queens. The plan was that we would go to her house get the car and I would follow my husband back home on as many local roads as possible. Realistically there was no way to do this, but that was the plan. My poor husband (this is one of the ways I know that he loves me), he drove so slowly that day so that I could keep up with him. And at one point I had to merge and nearly got us killed. I can laugh now but it was very nerve wracking then. One day I told myself something along the lines of, "All of these other people are out there driving and merging and changing lanes, why can't you?" "Don't be nervous, just remember what you learned."  The first time I did it, somebody blew their horn at me. I guess I cut them off. I made a mental note never to do that again, and I've been good ever since.

In terms of independence, driving has turned out to be everything I thought it would be and then some. As I drove out of the local parking lot, I smiled thinking about how far I've come.

I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Psalm 119:32

Do you remember when you got your driver's license? Did you get it on the first try? Why was it important for you to learn to drive? Supposed you had never learn to drive, how different would your life be?