20 Children and Counting........

Breaking news today is that the Duggars are expecting baby # 20 in April 2011. She is 45 years old. This will be the biggest gap between any of their children - the 19th child was born in 2009.

I know children are a blessing from the Lord and everyone should have their quiver full - so some may have one, some four, some none, but 20? I have a brother that has 5 and a good friend that has 7.

I come from a large family - they were 9 of us. I saw the work involved in maintaining a large family; a huge amount of the physical work of rearing children fell on my mother. My father was the one who worked outside the home and was the disciplinarian. I remember as a child, that laundry was never done. Guess who had to fold baskets of cloth diapers in those days? I HATED IT. My mother didn't seemed to thrilled about all the work involved either. House work was never ending. She loved us but didn't seem happy about the toll it took on her.

These thoughts colored my perceptions when I got married. I knew going in that I DID NOT want 9 children. My husband came from a family of 2 and initially wanted 5! After 3, we both agreed that was enough. We have four children - our quiver is full.

Honestly, it always rubs me the wrong way when I read of the Duggars. It seems excessive and extreme. I don't really understand why families put their lives under the microscope by being on TV constantly. I take no issue with their financial situation - just the fact that they keep having children, even if it is a blessing from God.

Ultimately, a couple’s motives for how many children they have are between them and God - I know this in my heart.

Without castigating the Duggars, please share your thoughts in the comments.

Can one have too many blessings? If you came from a large family, do you now have a large family?

Good Gifts

If you have good gifts, it implies that you can also have bad gifts.

I recently gave my mother the gift of house cleaning. I wasn't sure how it would go over since she's set in her ways and can be a tad exacting. I received so many phone calls prior to the scheduled date of the cleaning that I wondered if I'd done the right thing. I fretted and then I prayed. I said, "Lord, please send the right person to clean the house; may Mummy be happy; I'm turning this over to you; thy will be done." Well, she called me this morning and she was impressed with lady who came and the work that was done. She said the bathrooms look brand new. This was a good gift!

My daughter left this link on my FB page;she said it made her think of me. This was a good gift!



Our Father in heaven, gave the best gift by sending his Son to die for us. This was a good gift! As humans we sometimes fail in the gift giving department - but Jesus didn't and he hasn't.

A gift is only good when we see how it benefits us or enhances our lives; when we can feel the thoughtfulness of the giver as we open the gift; and if it is given in love.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11

Have you received any good gifts lately? Ever received a bad gift? What makes a gift good?

Don't Know, Don't Show or Don't Care.......

This statement cemented in my mind why Boyz in the Hood became one of my favorite movies. It was said by Doughboy after his brother was shot in a drive by shooting. The movie takes place in Crenshaw, CA. (Unfortunately this movie spawned a genre of movie that was difficult for me to watch...I couldn't do it).

The truthfulness as it related to the character's situation and the depth of that statement sums up what it means to be marginalized. The official definition is to relegate to an unimportant or powerless position within a society or group. There are many groups that are marginalized within our society which leads to a lot of the the isms we hate: racism, feminism, sexism, classism, etc.

The movie did not portray my reality but I know enough people who have lived what the movie portrayed and if it’s someone’s experience then it’s valid.

When I did my MS in Education there was a class where we researched the demographics of poverty in our educational system. The case studies were, to put it mildly, discouraging and one of the great thinkers in the field wondered if it was a conspiracy – that a group of people could be so broken by poverty who happen to be primarily Black or Hispanic, who within the educational system (at that point in time) were ignored.

Recently I met a principal at a charter school in Los Angeles. She lives in AZ, but commutes to LA for her job. One of my co-workers asked her why and she said “Racism.” In her experience, because she was female and Black, even though she had all the credentials she could not advance in her field, until she took this current position.

There’s a strain of poverty that when it intersects with race can leave one hopeless and angry as portrayed in the movie. Racism alone can do that to you, but to combine it with poverty or gender can sometimes make one hopeless or do things you normally wouldn't do.

This is why the Bible offers great hope; there’s more to life than this life. Some of us may have material wealth and some of us are scraping to make it from day to day; some of us may have perfect children and some we wonder “Did this child come from me?” Some of us are healthy and some of us are so sick we don’t know if the next breath is our last. Some of us skate through life, and others it seems as if there is always a trial because of our skin color. Life is complicated.

Hope from the Bible
Psalms 9:18 – But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

Psalms 25:5 – Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalms 42:5,11 43:5 – Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Psalms 62:5 – Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Psalms 130:7 – … put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Hebrews 10:23 – Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

I can only get through whatever unfolds in this life because I believe in God. It has been said within every human there is a God shaped void. Let God fill the void and don't become weighed down by racism or any other ism.

Have you ever felt marginalized? How did you deal with it? At what cost racism, or any other ism?

PS - I'm not oversimplifying racism, I know it exists in many forms. I don't believe in the post racial idea - until we get to heaven we'll always be dealing with our differences, race included.

House Hunters

Since moving across the country I've become addicted to House Hunters and House Hunters International. I live vicariously through the House Hunters and fantasize about some of the amenities that the buyers want in their next home. House Hunters takes viewers behind the scenes as individuals, couples and families learn what to look for and decide whether or not a home is meant for them. Focusing on the emotional experience of finding and purchasing a new home, each episode shows the process as buyers search for a home (source: HGTV.com).

Sometimes it's amusing to me, the expectations potential homeowners have; nowadays everyone wants granite counters, stainless steel appliances, and huge master bedrooms with an en suite dual vanity bathroom, regardless of their station in life.

First time home buyers are notorious for quibbling over cosmetic things, like paint and carpet, and not seeing the overall potential in a house.

They are also those who have lived in one part of the country for many years and have moved and would still like to find Atlanta houses and prices in Connecticut, as an example. At some point the home buyer realizes, we're not in Kansas anymore, so let's deal with the reality of living in California.

Some buyers are willing to sacrifice amenities if the price is right; some sacrifice square footage based on their budget or their lifestyle.

There are buyers that are filthy rich and are looking for their dream house; the budget really is arbitrary. But a million dollars buys different things in different places.

When I watch this show, it reminds me that even though a house is a major investment - I have a better house to look forward to that will surpass my dreams. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

Are you looking forward to your new house?