Wednesday, April 28, 2021

What I've Learned from Marriage and Motherhood

“Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two?  The Candy Man…. The Candy Man can. The candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.” I first heard the Sammy Davis version of this song on the radio and sang it to myself often. I never realized that I would have my own version of a popular candy: M&M’s®.

A Popular Candy
M&M’s themselves began as a reproduction of a foreign candy, named after two candy makers whose fathers were both candy magnates – Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie. While abroad, Forrest Mars Sr. noticed British soldiers eating small, pill-sized candies called Smarties, made of a chocolate center and a hard candy shell. He was shocked to see that the candies held up in the summer heat and were small and easy to transport. Armed with his new knowledge, he moved back to the states to claim his spot in his father’s company. He secured a patent for the production of the chocolates and, unhappy with the way his father was running the company, began to seek out a partner for his new and improved candy plan. Murrie met Mars, and the rest was history. While Mars had the patent for the candy, Murrie had the chocolate. Together, they began to produce the first batches of their coated chocolate candies under a new company, known as Mars & Murrie - M&M, for short, a successful partnership. 
M&Ms are sweet and mouthwatering, which reminds me of another successful partnership: marriage and motherhood, one that is common to many women.

Marriage is a blessing from God. Before God created Eve, everything He created was paired except man. Recognizing that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18), God created Eve to be a helper to Adam, a compliment, someone to come alongside him. I can imagine Adam’s incredulous reaction when he saw Eve for the first time! It’s probably similar to the first time your husband saw you. And then, in all of this newness, the two experienced a new thing and became one flesh. 
They moved as one though they were two separate individuals. They had the same foundation since they were both newly created and discovered the wonders of creation together. They communed with each other and were not ashamed in each other’s presence. God created this! There was no elaborate ceremony such as we have today, but God clearly identified that Adam and Eve were for each other, for life. Eve was Adam’s good thing, and as a wife, you are your husband’s “good thing” because he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). Adam didn’t have to look very far; he woke up from a deep sleep, and she was there. 

From the creation of marriage flowed the family unit, which lends itself to a sacred God-honoring work. The gift of children (Psalms 127:3-5) happens for many after marriage. Marriage provides a perspective of God’s relationship with us, but motherhood illuminated God’s relationship with me. 

In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos is used for mothers loving their children. This word represents a special kind of “mother love.” It indicates maternal love and a fondness for one’s children. It implies a dependent relationship. From the Bible, we see that mothers are teachers, mentors, nurturers, and correctors. In these roles, we grow to become wise women.

For me, marriage and motherhood occurred in a short timeframe. In 1989 I married my husband, and by 1990 I had my first child.  With my initiation into motherhood, I gained a new perspective since both have made me wiser.

Marriage taught me about love; motherhood revealed the depth of my capacity to love.

Marriage taught me about relationships, but motherhood informed how I lived out all my relationships. My marriage was to a full-grown adult whose personality and character were already shaped, but as a mother, I played a significant part in shaping my children's character. There was nothing I could do about each child’s personality except work with it. Motherhood taught me the benefit of adjusting.

Marriage made me aware of some of my flaws; motherhood showed me the benefit of changing gracefully. Being aware was half the battle, but for my children’s sake and also my husband’s, I had to change. Even if my husband was willing to accept me warts and all, my children did not have this luxury for who they saw was all they knew.

Marriage taught me about receiving support; motherhood showed me how to provide support by advocating for my children.

Marriage taught me to celebrate each other; motherhood reinforced why celebration was important. Small celebrations would put the biggest smile on my children’s face, and that was priceless.

Marriage taught me to appreciate “couple time,” but motherhood reinforced the notion of taking care of myself. Five minutes locked away in the bathroom provided sufficient time to restore my sanity.

Marriage made me value communication; motherhood made me appreciate silence. Being pulled in different directions, with someone or something always vying for my attention, provided a newfound appreciation for silence when it occurred, a beautiful oasis.

Marriage taught me to listen; motherhood reinforced why listening was so important.

Marriage taught me dependence, but motherhood made me realize how strong I was. Motherhood brought so many new experiences; I didn’t know I had it in me, yet I did them. Tasks were done out of necessity. Coupled with this I got a new understanding of fatigue and pushing through; yes motherhood also revealed the many layers of fatigue.

Marriage and motherhood taught me about forgiveness, patience, and kindness in equal measure, which became a confidence booster. These two Ms also taught me bravery and wisdom. 

Marriage and motherhood – two sweet things often stirred together with God Himself being the master Candyman. Neither marriage nor motherhood is an end goal, but each has seasons we navigate. It doesn’t matter where you are; God can use you. Marriage and motherhood helped developed my unique gifts, and for that, I’m grateful. He used the hardness of each to make me malleable to Him. This combination was perfect in God’s hands.

What have you learned from Marriage, Motherhood, or both? Is M&Ms your sweet treat?


5 Amazing Mom bloggers have united to share encouragement and tips on Juggling the Joys of Motherhood! Hop around and read each of these posts shock full of great encouragment for moms.

Thanks for reading. Please take a moment to share using the buttons below. Like my Facebook Page and follow along on Instagram. Pick up a copy of my book:  The Comfort of Night - How Jesus Makes Your Dark Times All RightDon't forget to subscribe. If you're reading my new book, The Comfort of Night, please leave a review on Amazon or the publisher's site. Stay Encouraged!


  1. Both marriage and motherhood changed me in ways I never could have expected. I am so grateful for both in my life as they worked to do a deep work in my heart.

  2. I love your following statement Nylse & relate to it,
    'Marriage and motherhood – two sweet things often stirred together with God Himself being the master Candyman. Neither marriage nor motherhood is an end goal, but each has seasons we navigate. It doesn’t matter where you are; God can use you. Marriage and motherhood helped developed my unique gifts, and for that, I’m grateful. He used the hardness of each to make me malleable to Him. This combination was perfect in God’s hands.' Amen!
    Bless you,

  3. We never know what journey that God has for us, however if we embrace the people in our lives and treat them as the true gifts they are, life can certainly be a colorful & tasty as a bowl of M&Ms

  4. Hi, visiting from Crystal Storm link up. I love this post. I've learned much about marriage and motherhood over many years and am now learning about grandmotherhood - more wonderful candy from the Master candy maker.

  5. Love this. Marriage and motherhood are so different and yet alike. We use many of the same skills in each, but in different ways.

  6. Nylse, what a beautiful post. So many of the "Marriage ... and motherhood . . . " contrasts resonated with my experiences as well. God used my husband to reveal more depth of His love for me. He used motherhood to draw me closer to Himself. I lack so much, and He has all I need. I like your M and M's. And I do like M&M's, but they don't like me, sadly.


I love reading your comments; but please be kind. Unkind comments will be removed.