Monday, August 8, 2011

Sexcaspades's everywhere. We are inundated with sex in our culture.
Listening in on some conversations over the weekend, I heard how teens as young as 14 have lost their virginity and how those in high school are quite versed on sexual positions and techniques.

When I was a youth leader at a church, a couple of young ladies got pregnant. Without fail these young ladies expressed regret at what transpired. One told me she was very lonely, she knew she shouldn’t be doing this but she figured it would ease her loneliness. Another one told me. "You know how it is; you get all caught up and before you know it....” Both of these ladies ended up pregnant.

I bet you so many feel that they've outsmarted someone if they're active but don't get pregnant. The guys aren't innocent in this either, it’s just that the girls bear most of the burden for this behavior.

Maybe we can coin a new phrase - instead of losing your virginity, perhaps it should be "I'm choosing to gain blessings." Maintaining and keeping your virginity until the right time is nothing to be ashamed of.

I tried to teach the young ladies that I worked with how to practically prepare themselves for situations and how to avoid situations that may lead them down the wrong path.

I also wanted the young ladies to know that they were worthy. If they saw themselves as valuable, perhaps this would translate in to how they allowed others to treat them.

As an adult, I wanted them to know what I expected and why I expected it from them. Sometimes people just don’t know and get sucked in to what’s most common. I wasn’t saying this to complicate their lives; from experience I knew it was the better way and I knew it was doable.

The bottom line is you don't have to cave in to all the messages of sex around you. It may be considered radical if you don't, but it’s worth it: it’s one less thing to cloud your head with; you don’t have to think about the emotions of connecting with someone who may not be in your life past this instance but who will be in your mind forever; it frees you to focus on what you need to do.

Sex is a beautiful thing; but what's put out there takes away from the beauty of it. There are too many consequences if it’s not within the framework God intended.

I think everyone knows what the Bible says about this topic, but this is one of those areas where we often feel we know better than what God says.

What are your views on sex outside of marriage?


  1. Of course, now that I am married and have a child I absolutely believe no sex until marriage. However, I know it happens all around us among all age groups. I think you are on the right path to try to change the thinking about pre martial sex. I truly believe it is the peer pressure that teens and adults experience. I mean is there much pressure to stay a virgin, other than from parents I haven't really seen it.
    Very interesting post. Thanks for sharing this insight.

  2. Sex outside of marriage is wrong because the Bible says it is.

    However. I struggle with this - I'm not really sure what I'll tell my child. I didn't wait. And though I hope and pray that she will wait, I know realistically that may not happen. I'm not comfortable with abstinence only sex talks. I don't want her to decide to have sex and then not be properly protected because I didn't tell her how to protect herself. I'm rambling...

  3. It's wrong because God says it's wrong. I applaude you for teaching the young ladies. . .they need to hear it over and over. . .so do the young men! And not just hear this message but to learn to grow in their relationship with the Lord so that becomes more important than what the world thinks of their private life.

    Thank you so much for your sweet, sweet comment at my place the other day, you brought tears to my face. . .(good tears :)

    Blessings to you~


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