A Chapter A Day - Proverbs 22

Proverbs 22 contains some gems that we hear often. If you're following the running analogy, we are maintaining our form - steady breathing, pace and rhythm.

Gems
A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver or gold (v1). When all is said and done, all you have left is your name. I’d like to think that when people hear my name they say, “O yeah, she’s a good person, a Christian woman, smart, a person of her word, possessing sound character.” Of course, there are many more things that can be added to this list. A good reputation is worth having but it should be based on what’s inside – a good character. Do you have a good name, that’s consistent with who you are? If you were running for political office, would any dirt be found on you?

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it (v6). The training takes place when children are young however they reap the rewards when they are old. Often times they may think you’re being mean to them, or you don’t understand, or you’re too strict. But if done with love and understanding they will reap the benefits of this when they are older. As parents, we don’t know when this epiphany takes place, but we know it happens. As a parent, don’t neglect your responsibility because it seems hard for the moment; in the end it will be beneficial to the child.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it far (v15). Most babies are cute, angelic even. Yet it is amazing that one of the first words a child masters is “No,” and knows how to use it in its proper context. Foolishness starts young, as does the correction, the training, and the discipline. (Please note, I am not advocating child abuse, neither is the scripture.)

Make no friendship with an angry man….(v 24,25). Spirit has a wonderful and unaccountable influence upon spirit. From those with whom we associate we acquire habits, and learn their ways, imbibe their spirit, show their tempers and walk in their steps. We cannot ever be too careful of our company, for we may soon learn ways that will be a snare to our soul (Clarke’s commentary). Be careful of the company you keep.

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings....(v 29) Don't be afraid of hard work; of being persistent and conscientious.  One of the rewards of diligence is success, which means the accomplishment of what you set out to do. Diligence springs from an attitude of the heart; it will transport you to unexpected places.

Read on.

Potty Training

Source

Potty training made me realize that parenting was going to be a bit more complicated than I anticipated.

Before I had children, I determined that they would be well behaved and obedient; they would have good manners, excel in school and be all around good children, all because this is what I wanted.

And then I had children.

Potty training the first child - my son, was a bit of an adventure. Everyone said boys are harder than girls so I anticipated some difficulty. It was a Saturday and I placed him in underpants. I told him when he had to use the bathroom to go to the potty or to let me know when he had to go;  at this point in time I don't remember. What I do remember was him not understanding initially, so when he had to go, he stood right where he was and made a puddle.  I remember spanking him on the butt and telling him the next time he has to go, go to the bathroom. Well that spank worked, and by the end of the day he had the hang of it and there were no more accidents. Soon he was potty trained.

Looking back- I realized that this child wanted to please.

Then came my first daughter. Potty training her was a non-event. It was time to be a big girl, and a big girl she became. I don't remember any accidents or protracted discussions.

Looking back - I realized this child was efficient.

So by now when the third child comes along I figure I'm a pro at potty training. I've potty trained two children and we're still standing. I approach potty training this child, a girl, with confidence, which I would soon learn was misplaced. I did everything I did with the first two but nothing worked; absolutely nothing. This child was content to wallow around in her filth even though she knew it was time to be a big girl. I remember giving up and saying to myself, "I've never seen an 18 year old in diapers, so I'm sure we'll eventually figure this out." What saved me was her preschool teacher; basically she had more patience than I.

Looking back - I realized this child was strong-willed.

Source

Before potty training, I never took in to account the individual personalities of each child. After potty training I was keenly aware of this and learned that the approach needs to be tailored based on the child. I'm glad I had this light-bulb moment when they were quite young. Though we are all made in the image of God, each of us has our own unique personality - we are variations on a theme. I realized that I couldn't rely solely on my knowledge, but I had to rely on the One who made these children. The point was, whenever I thought I knew something, I was humbled by a child teaching me to do things a different way. The child was never in charge, but as a parent I was willing to make adjustments to get the best result.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 [NLT]

Did you learn anything profound from potty training your children? What preconceived notions did you have about parenting before becoming a parent?

Update - I have 4 children; it's not that I didn't learn anything from potty training her but she is a work in progress so I didn't mention her. By the time she came around I learned not to rely on prior knowledge but to approach this with no pre-conceived notions. She is not as strong-willed as child #3, but seems to be a combination of #1 and #2. Suffice it to say, I did not forget her. To my attentive readers - thank you for noticing.

Fathers

I have been blessed to still have my father in my life.  He recently celebrated his 80th birthday - and what a celebration it was.

Here are lessons I've learned from my dad:

• He was a Godly man - He took to heart, "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."  He used biblical principles in raising us. We also had Family devotions every night when we were little.

• He was patient - with eight children and eight different personalities one learns to become patient.

• He was a provider - he took working seriously; he had many jobs throughout his life at various levels.  There was no shame in any of the positions, as long as we were provided for.

• He was strict disciplinarian - now this I did not like; but because every child is different some of us needed it more than others.  There's a story he told me many years later after I was grown: there was a time when he was about to smack me in the head or the cheek for some offense;  apparently I told him in my own childish way  never to do that to me - and from that point on he never did.  I don't remember this, but it sounds like something I would do (I can't believe I had the nerve to say something!)  So he was strict but also sensitive. He was not cruel.

• He valued education - we had to know our multiplications tables by the time we were 5 or 6 and guess what, we did.  We read alot in our house; no one was allowed to be bored; if you were bored the standard reply was, "Go read a book!"

• He enjoyed life - every Saturday afternoon all of us would pile up in our little Ford Escort and drive to the beach.  We would spend the whole afternoon at the beach and then eat conch fritters from a local vendor.  There's also another story that showed his fun side: we lived in the Bahamas, even though my parents were from Barbados.  We were aware of the local dishes, but my mom had never cooked them.  One Saturday, Daddy came home with some crabs and told Mummy that we could make crab and rice - a local favorite.  My mother had never cooked crabs before and she was also afraid of them.  What should have taken maybe 2 hours took the whole day, because my mom had no idea what she was doing.  We eventually ate our version of crab and rice, but never had it again. Then there was the time he brought home a box full of the best mangoes I've ever had.  We all sat there eating mangoes, like it was nobody's business.  One time we had just had a hurricane called Gilda.  A friend gave him a puppy - he brought home a box with the cutest puppy which we called Gilda. Gilda was a fun dog.

• He was faithful - he took his marriage vows seriously.

This is an ode to my father, but also to my husband because he mirrors the same qualities my father has.

God promises us long life, if we honor our parents. Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3.  I don't know how long my life will be, but God's promises are sure.  So today, and everyday tell all the dads in your life what they mean to you.

Happy Father's Day!