Driving Thoughts - O You Fancy

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Imagine this - a young mother of three, works in corporate america, dresses nicely, and apparently does not look like she has three children. The family needs a car, and the husband was able to buy a used Volvo in good condition. Because of that Volvo, her status is now elevated. On top of everything else, folks now think she's fancy, rich and better than them. All of this because she got a used Volvo.

Sounds crazy? Well it happened and it happens and it's not that far fetched.  People make many assumptions based on the car you drive.

I live in the land of status - California, and I have noticed many more luxury vehicles on the road. That phrase "luxury vehicle" has some monetary implications and connotations. According to Wikipedia it means: "The term suggests a vehicle with higher quality equipment, better performance, more precise construction, comfort, higher design, technologically innovative modern, or features that convey an image, brand, status, or prestige, or any other 'discretionary' feature or combination of them. The term is also broad, highly variable and relative. It is a perceptual, conditional and subjective attribute that may be understood differently by different people; "what may be luxury for one may be premium for another.""

I have to caution myself not to get caught up in a person's wallet just because of the car they drive for the outside does not determine what is on the inside.

Remember, just because I drive a Benz or any luxury vehicle does not mean I'm better than you. I don't think that way and neither should you.

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

How do you feel when you see others with things that you don't have? 

Notes From My Daughter - A Testimony on Humility

My Daughter

Occasional notes from my 20 year old daughter. I never know what to expect when she writes, but it's usually a pleasant surprise.  Read on!

Everything God has called me to do in my life I've thought I wasn't good enough to do. So I silently said no, I snickered at God's voice like Hannah, I rebutted like Moses, and I tried to run away like Jeremiah.

But I've finally come to this point where I realized God doesn't choose the good enough people, and I'm honored (not scared) that he trust me to be obedient to him with my whole life.

I applied to USC convinced that I wouldn't get in, a part of it was my dream but at this point I was bitter and believed the dream was too big. My dad told me he wouldn't pay for all of USC’s tuition, but some gut feeling pushed me to give it my all. This application was actually blood, sweat, and tears. I gave my 100% to USC's application and did all other app's halfheartedly. If I had it my way I only would've applied to USC.

But like I said, another part of me thought I wouldn't get in. I saw it as a task too big for me to handle. I applied with hope, but not in faith. A part of me just wanted to apply so I can say I did and then prove myself right when I got denied.

But I was wrong, talk about dying to yourself, I was so wrong. I got in! I was overwhelmed and excited and scared. I was happy I got in, but didn't know if I could actually be a good student at USC. I really thought they made a mistake and anxiously awaited a rescinded letter for months. That conflict of emotions instead of driving me to my knees drove me insane. Up until this moment, I've exhausted myself to what seemed like the point of no return. And it seemed like I had proven myself right; once again I thought "You aren't good enough."

But God showed me I was wrong, the sentence wasn't over. I am not good enough without God. You cannot do the task God calls you to do without God. Mark 10:27 clearly states with man (by himself) it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. In John 15, without the vine you are nothing, but in him you can do all things. Yes God will prune you, and yes circumstances will hurt but God is not malicious and everything He allows He works for the good of those who truly love him. To love Him is to know him, and to love Him back.

Look, I wasn't good enough without God, I am truly nothing without God, but I'm here in Him now. Not even a 20 year history of not trusting him will stop Him from using my life for His glory. I belong on my knees in those moments of misdirection, confusion, and pain. A place where His strength is felt deeply and my soul is filled with His love. I belong in that place where I am broken before Him, instead of stuck without Him. I am changed by God only and only Him do I seek.

Driving Thoughts - Love in Action

We spend a lot of time in our cars, and though I don't have any empirical evidence I would venture to say that mothers in particular spend a significant amount of time behind the wheel. My mother always wanted to drive but somehow she never got her driver's license. I would say that put a real damper in her because my mom is a go getter; she likes to be up and about. I take after my mom in being a go getter, but as you know I got my driver's license and I can't imagine mothering without driving.

I have spent a significant portion of my adulthood driving my children and others to:  babysitters, daycare, school, church, games and other extra curricular activities. There was a time when most of the driving I did was for them and not for me.

At one point, I actually wished that driving was a calorie burning activity, because if you think I'm skinny now, I would be skeletal thanks to driving.


Driving with precious cargo taught me quite a few things.

They were precious so I became extra careful as I drove. When you're handling something special you tend to become very careful. So while I was never reckless, I do like to drive fast, but I often curtailed my speeds with children in the car.

I really learned to watch my words.  "Lord put a guard over my mouth" became real, as I drove with young impressionable children.

But then there's some things you can't control such as when someone suddenly cuts you off; you just don't know what will fly out of your mouth. Once you ensure everyone is OK, you can explain.

I also found myself, reaching out with my right hand to protect any one that was in the passenger seat when I had to suddenly slam on the brakes; I don't know where that came from or how much protection it offered, but I'll chalk it up to a mother's instinct. And sometimes I just like to hold the hand of whomever is in the passenger seat, savoring the short lived precious time we have.

We've also had some great conversations and dare I say life altering decisions in the confines of my car. Boys wanting to act up and play the fool had an opportunity to talk things out before they got out of my car to face their wild crazy world. Girls wondering if certain boys like them and what did I do when I was that age, were comforted knowing that they're not the first ones walking down that awkward path. I hope some of our conversations made a difference.

Though its not a calorie burner, a driving mother has an opportunity to protect, be tender, and impart wisdom. Even if she doesn't do all of these things and may even mess up a time or two, because she is mothering even as she drives, she's making a difference. She may not feel it when she's driving to another doctor's appointment, or dropping off to a game, but she is making a huge difference.

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

Do you ever feel like a chauffeur as you transport your precious cargo? Do you wish you didn't have to drive so much? How would your life or your children's life be different if you didn't drive.

Driving Thoughts - Independence

I remember when the idea of driving first was embedded in my brain. It probably was walking to church for the thousandth time, or after running to catch a bus and just missing it. As a teenager driving represented independence, and I wanted that; the ability to get in my car and go anywhere of my choosing without answering to anyone; I was dreaming but this is what I wanted.

Way back then, I went to driving school and even took some lessons with my future husband. Parallel parking posed the biggest challenge so I wanted to make sure that I got that right. Nowadays, parallel parking is not a big deal; here in CA it wasn't a big focus of the test. My, how times have changed, but in Brooklyn we needed to know how to parallel park on the left and right sides of the street. The day of my road test, I was slightly nervous and the rain had  just ended. I remember my instructor appeared a little grumpy; but don't they all seem that way when you're trying to gain your independence? I splashed through a puddle but that was not considered a major infraction, and then I parallel parked - perfectly! I got my license on the first try.

I remember when a girlfriend of mine first got her license. It was a Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn and we had nothing to do, so we thought we'd drive to Flatbush Avenue and peruse some of the stores. She felt lucky in that she had her father's car for the afternoon which was no mean feat for her. She picked me up in her father's jalopy; the car was gray and huge. It was bigger than the two of us combined. Her biggest concern, which soon became mine - where would we ever find a spot to park this monstrosity? It felt good being out and about, driving and talking, but parking the car was always looming. We reached our destination, but every time we thought we saw a parking spot that big old grey jalopy wouldn't fit and Nads could not maneuver the car to get in to the spot. For most spots, I kept insisting it could fit. She would try, I would cheer, but it wouldn't fit. Finally, we found a spot. It wasn't perfect but I definitely thought she could fit.  It appeared to be quite nerve wracking for Nads, as she attempted to remember everything she learned in driving school to park that car, while not hitting anyone or anything. We laughed triumphantly once she parked the car.

We weren't Thelma and Louise but the car was just as big!

Now that I had my independence, I was afraid to use it. When I first started driving, I was deathly afraid of driving on the highway, but I did not have the patience to take local roads everywhere; that was not practical.

I'm going down memory lane again.

I'm a newlywed and we are a one car household. I tried using public transportation in suburbia, but what would normally take 20 minutes driving took 2 hours.  I was pregnant with my first child, and I thought this is for the birds, I have my license, I can drive. So a friend of ours was selling a car but she lived in Queens. At the time we lived in Long Island and we were about an hour's drive away from Queens. The plan was that we would go to her house get the car and I would follow my husband back home on as many local roads as possible. Realistically there was no way to do this, but that was the plan. My poor husband (this is one of the ways I know that he loves me), he drove so slowly that day so that I could keep up with him. And at one point I had to merge and nearly got us killed. I can laugh now but it was very nerve wracking then. One day I told myself something along the lines of, "All of these other people are out there driving and merging and changing lanes, why can't you?" "Don't be nervous, just remember what you learned."  The first time I did it, somebody blew their horn at me. I guess I cut them off. I made a mental note never to do that again, and I've been good ever since.

In terms of independence, driving has turned out to be everything I thought it would be and then some. As I drove out of the local parking lot, I smiled thinking about how far I've come.

I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Psalm 119:32

Do you remember when you got your driver's license? Did you get it on the first try? Why was it important for you to learn to drive? Supposed you had never learn to drive, how different would your life be?