Love Through the Lens of Hair

I spend a lot of time thinking about hair. As women, we often hear that a woman's hair is her crowning glory, a phrase with Biblical roots found in 1 Corinthians 11:15 and Proverbs 16:31. Often how a woman feels about her hair will determine how she feels about herself. 

Black women have often been made to feel that their hair is ugly or bad because it doesn't fit the cultural

Guest Post - Living in Perspective by Xariah C

Xariah is an aspiring writer and singer. She recently graduated from HS and will be attending college in the fall. Though young, the depths of her thoughts belies her age. Read on.

"But now, LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are our potter. We are the work of your hands." Isaiah 64:8

How do you approach the presence of God?  When you draw near to God as your Heavenly Father, rather than a confusing unknown or a Sunday assignment, you will find yourself fully known and embraced. You were meant for a relationship with God, a bond that is set apart and built on knowing and trusting God as your Everlasting Father.

All who believe in Jesus are called to live as

Why Do You Fast?

It's that time of year again where churches encourage members to fast at the start of the year. To launch fasting in our household, we had a long discussion about what fasting means while reviewing Isaiah 58: 1-7. This chapter speaks about right and wrong ways to fast. In this passage, the reality was that God's people didn’t fast with the right heart and did it only as an empty ritual. The context of this passage focused on their relationships with others - the oppressed and the needy. But the overriding theme was not to do something just because you think it will please God without changing your ways. We were mindful of this thought as Monday dawned.

The Fires Around Me

When we moved to California, I discovered the phenomenon of the Santa Ana winds and the fires they cause. Apparently, family members and close friends did also, because once they saw the fires on TV, we received calls regarding our safety. Usually, the fires were up North or in rural mountainous areas, so we were never in harm's way.

The National Weather Service defines Santa Ana winds as "strong downslope winds that blow through the mountain passes in California. These winds, which can easily exceed 40 miles per hour (18 m/s), are warm and dry and can severely exacerbate brush or forest fires, especially under drought conditions (wikipedia.com)."

Simple Pleasures Bring the Greatest Joy

Simple pleasures bring the greatest joys.

The assembling together of saints regardless of the denomination and basking in the worshipful adoration of the knowledge that our lives are in His hands while heartily singing songs. Recently, I was moved by this song that I had never heard before - I, the Lord of Sea and Sky. The singing of this hymn was a simple pleasure.

What Do You Need Him to Be?

Have you ever read a book that changed you? If you've read such a book you will notice that upon each successive reading, you were transformed again because you noticed something new. Some books can do this but as an avid reader, I know that they're not as timeless or alive as the Bible. No book has impacted or changed me like the Bible.

Without knowing it, whenever you read the Bible it is ministering to your deepest needs because that's what it was meant to do. (2 Timothy 3:16) There is nothing that you are going through that you won't find a relatable story, phrase or thought that can provide insight, foresight, and hindsight for you and your situation. As you read and your deepest needs are met in a supernatural way, you may wonder why you've never done this before. Discover the God of the Bible, who is what you need to him to be, at just the right time.

What If Praying is Like Breathing?

What if praying is like breathing? With every breath we take, we are engaging in a life-sustaining activity.

We unconsciously breathe every second of every day to propel us through. When you breathe in, or inhale, your diaphragm contracts (tightens) and moves downward. This increases the space in your chest cavity, into which your lungs expand. When you breathe out or exhale, your diaphragm relaxes and moves upward into the chest cavity. The intercostal muscles between the ribs

Sanctified not Sanctimonious

Social Media is this generation's technology tool that many struggle with how best to use. To provide context, in my generation, it was the TV. Social media has brought down leaders, rebuked citizens, notified us of prominent deaths prior to regular news outlets, shared the gospel, and highlighted areas that warranted our attention. But one of the things it has also done is made us all more self-focused to the point that reality is blurred. We see most people boasting - about their families, their accomplishments and their good deeds online. Sometimes I feel like a voyeur because so much of what is posted is not for public consumption. A lot of it feels like bragging, even humble bragging which is just a

Important Leadership Traits

The study of the book of Judges has been eye opening for me because of its intensity and detail. There's so much more there than what I remembered.

I wanted to take a break, just to regroup and ensure that we're all following along.

Remember, these are the judges or leaders that God chose to deliver Israel from their surrounding enemies. These leaders were a far cry from what we would call in today's vernacular, 'ideal candidates'.

So far, we've noticed the following:

• We've consistently seen the breakdown of the family in the constant cycle of redemption and failure of the Israelites.
• We've seen that the Spirit of God was present, that it moved individuals to action, in a powerful fashion that provided clarity.
• We've seen that God allowed their enemies to overcome them so that when God stepped in through their leader, the conclusion could only be that it was God.
• We've seen that human nature is complex, yet not one part of it is a surprise to the God who made us.
• The tenure for the leaders we have studied so far were all over 20 years. The longer the tenure the greater the stability.
• Finally, with God's leading, we've seen how these men and one woman were able to lead the Israelites who were not an easy bunch. Gideon had a degree of fear; Deborah had smarts; Ehud was willing; Shamgar was a fighter and Othniel was ordinary; different character traits yet all possessed the traits of leadership. 

The most prevalent and consistent traits of leadership are obedience - a willingness to listen to someone bigger than you and humility - the recognition that the task at hand is bigger than you and deploying assistance from above and below. We've seen other leadership traits in action also: vision, self-awareness, integrity, commitment and a willingness to help others.

John Maxwell lists 5 stages of leadership - position, permission, production, people development and pinnacle. So far the judges we have studied were leaders because of their position - God placed them there; they were appointed. In addition, most had the respect of the people they led.  The Israelites listened and followed their direction - they had a vested interest in following and listening to their leader. The scripture does not go into detail on each judges' life, but many were hailed as great men.

As we study the remainder of the book of Judges, we'll see additional lessons of leadership that we can apply to our lives today.

But among you, it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. John 20:26-28

What's your biggest takeaway on leadership from studying the book of Judges? Would you consider yourself a leader?



--Nylse

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A Chapter A Day - Proverbs 15

Look at how far we've come already. There are more contrasts between righteousness and wickedness with a focus on the little things that make a big impact - a soft answer, a wholesome tongue, a merry heart. Some of the larger impacts are highlighted also. Can you believe we're at the midpoint?
Proverbs 15

Observations and Highlights

This chapter starts off with another verse that I've heard quoted many times, particularly in my teens. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger (v1)." Or said another way, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." This verse came back to me when I would have yelled at my children, snapped at my husband, or became sarcastic with a coworker. It has saved me from much grief though I am not perfect. I have done all of the above and recognized after the fact, had I spoken differently I would have had a different outcome. It requires self-control to always give a soft answer.

Another theme in this chapter is - little is much when God is in it. (v 6, 16,17,25,27). This is the title of an old hymn that encourages you to give your best no matter how insignificant you feel or how small the task. When God is in it, there's a blessing.

Don't we love genuinely cheerful people? A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance (v13). Everything flows from within, so make sure your heart is right.

Whenever I'm facing huge decisions in my life I recall v 22 - "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed." It's not wrong to seek out advice, just be sure your sources can be honest and truthful and have your best interest at heart. Counsel means advice or guidance, especially as solicited from a knowledgeable person - so this rules out asking everyone for their opinions. You're not looking for hundreds of opinions, you're looking for additional insight to assist in making a decision. For me, the Bible serves as one of my primary sources of counsel, then my husband, and maybe another person who has some understanding(professional or otherwise) of what I'm thinking about. After all of this, I pray about it, until I have peace on the direction I should take.

Don't be afraid to seek out instruction, it's the beginning of understanding that leads to wisdom. (v 32,33).

One last point - before honor is humility (v33). We all need to submit, whether we like it or not. We submit to laws and rules. At work, we submit to our bosses. At home, we submit to each other (husband and wife). Children submit to their parents. So why not submit to God, and honor his commandments? Start with God first. The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom (v 33).

Read on.

I'd love to hear from you; leave a comment if you're so inclined.

Feeling Misunderstood

Source

Do you ever feel misunderstood? In particular, do you feel misunderstood in the relationships that really matter to you? Have you noticed, that you never know when a misunderstanding may occur? This is why being misunderstood is so frustrating.

 The basis of being misunderstood is when our intentions don't line up with our actions.  However, usually, we feel misunderstood because our well-intentioned thoughts don't translate to well-meaning actions. I gather there are many scenarios for being misunderstood but the most common would be that you are well-intentioned. 

Being misunderstood is an opportunity to examine others and yourself. Let's start with others first. Intellectually we know that everyone will not understand us; everyone won't "get" us. There are myriad personalities in this world and even though personality assessments are done that group common characteristics of various personality types into subgroups, even within those subgroups there are huge variations. I have not met my twin - that person that is exactly like me. I watch House Hunters and one thing that I take away from this show is people like what they like and there's no rhyme or reason to it. That's how humans are with their personalities - it's the way we're wired and every facet of one's personality can't be explained or understood. The way we are wired can create misunderstanding. So it's pointless to try to be understood by all, but it grates when the ones closest to us seem to misunderstand us on a regular basis. I think this is when we have to look at the other person's personality and not confuse their personality with their character. Personality is an expression of who you are; it's your temperament; the way you do things; character is foundational and is based on your intrinsic morals and values. The core of who I am does not change but my expression of it may change. It's nuanced - but it may help in thinking about why misunderstandings occur and how to deal with them.

Source

Being misunderstood also requires that we look at ourselves, especially when we are misunderstood by people we care about. So here are some questions to ask ourselves:

• Are our motives sincere?
• Is my conscience clear?
• Am I trying to hide anything?

It's hard being misunderstood because sometimes it seems as if there is no way to clear it up. It seems like a no-win proposition and the answer seems to be "just don't do the thing that caused the misunderstanding in the first place." That's not realistic. For example, if I have a tendency of laughing before I make a point, you may think I'm laughing at you when the reality is my laughter is a reflex that had nothing to do with you. Now I can work this and explain this to you but it doesn't mean it won't ever happen again. My husband and children may know this but they won't always remember this, but as long as they remember that I meant no harm, the misunderstanding is easily resolved. And if I'm really not laughing at them, but it's purely a reflex then we're good. But this is why it's important to examine yourself to ensure that your intentions were well-meaning.

Ultimately, being misunderstood is a facet of life; some of us handle it better than others. Do what you can and know that you're ok especially after you've examined yourself and carry on. But examine yourself; don't rely on this is the way I am and there's nothing I can do to change it.  The essence of you won't change but adjustments can be made - that's life. Being misunderstood recognizes that we will be adjusting until we leave this earth and this is the hard part for all of us. Let's take it one misunderstanding at a time, so that we have the grace to carry on. Don't linger in the misunderstanding, move on.

It has been suggested that when you are misunderstood, you repeat these four sentences:
It’s not about me. It’s not about now. It’s all about God. It’s all about eternity. (Source)

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 1 Peter 5:6 [NLT]

How do you handle being misunderstood?

Why? Because I Said So.

Source

After Job went through all of his trials God showed up, but probably not in the way he expected.  All along Job had been questioning why all of these terrible things were happening to him. His friends showed up but then they started to speculate and pontificate, making the situation worse, yet Job still had no idea why he was suffering. He didn't realize that this was something that God ordained.

If you've ever had a toddler that kept asking you why, you might be able to relate to Job. When you as the mother or parent finally say, it's because I said so, in that moment you are exerting your parental rights and authority. All questions cease because you said so.

Well, God finally showed up and in a manner of speaking said to Job, it's because I said so.

In Job 38 and 39 God appears to Job out of a whirlwind and immediately sets the tone: God said, "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?"  I can imagine Job inwardly cringing and saying 'uh oh." God tells him he has to man up: "dress for action like a man, I will question you and you make it known to me.

God proceeds to give Job a dissertation on the universe in the form of questions that Job cannot answer or conceive the answers to:

• Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
• Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know its place?
• Who kept the sea inside its boundaries and said here your proud waves must stop?
• Do you know where the gates of death are located?
• Where does light come from and where does darkness go?
• Have you visited the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of hail?
• Who created a channel for the torrents of rain?
• Who laid out the path for the lightning?
• Can you direct the movement of the stars?
• Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?
• Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind? (Job 38:36 - my new favorite verse)

And then He goes to the animals in the universe:

• Do you know when the wild goats give birth?
• Have you watched as deer are born in the wild?
• Who gives the wild donkey its freedom?
• Will the wild ox consent to being tamed?
• He mentions the ostrich who appears dumb but has great speed to protect her offspring.
• Have you given the horse its strength or clothed its neck with a flowing mane?
• Is it your wisdom that makes the hawk soar and spread its wings toward the south?
• Is it at your command that the eagle rises to the heights to make its nest?

• And finally - shall a fault finder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.

 Job is not the first person to think that he could get the answer he wanted from God. At the end of this questioning, Job recognized that even though he wanted answers from God all along, he could not answer God's questions. Job saw his limitations and recognized his weakness. Job was humbled. I want to be aligned with someone who is all powerful - not just a mere man.
In our trials, we are never alone. God is there and if we will just still our minds, we can hear what he is trying to tell us.

Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind? Job 38:36 [NLT]

Can you remember a time when God showed up? Was it during a tumultuous time? How do you feel about the sovereignty of God - i.e. because I said so?

Notes From My Daughter - A Testimony on Humility

My Daughter

Occasional notes from my 20 year old daughter. I never know what to expect when she writes, but it's usually a pleasant surprise.  Read on!

Everything God has called me to do in my life I've thought I wasn't good enough to do. So I silently said no, I snickered at God's voice like Hannah, I rebutted like Moses, and I tried to run away like Jeremiah.

But I've finally come to this point where I realized God doesn't choose the good enough people, and I'm honored (not scared) that he trust me to be obedient to him with my whole life.

I applied to USC convinced that I wouldn't get in, a part of it was my dream but at this point I was bitter and believed the dream was too big. My dad told me he wouldn't pay for all of USC’s tuition, but some gut feeling pushed me to give it my all. This application was actually blood, sweat, and tears. I gave my 100% to USC's application and did all other app's halfheartedly. If I had it my way I only would've applied to USC.

But like I said, another part of me thought I wouldn't get in. I saw it as a task too big for me to handle. I applied with hope, but not in faith. A part of me just wanted to apply so I can say I did and then prove myself right when I got denied.

But I was wrong, talk about dying to yourself, I was so wrong. I got in! I was overwhelmed and excited and scared. I was happy I got in, but didn't know if I could actually be a good student at USC. I really thought they made a mistake and anxiously awaited a rescinded letter for months. That conflict of emotions instead of driving me to my knees drove me insane. Up until this moment, I've exhausted myself to what seemed like the point of no return. And it seemed like I had proven myself right; once again I thought "You aren't good enough."

But God showed me I was wrong, the sentence wasn't over. I am not good enough without God. You cannot do the task God calls you to do without God. Mark 10:27 clearly states with man (by himself) it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. In John 15, without the vine you are nothing, but in him you can do all things. Yes God will prune you, and yes circumstances will hurt but God is not malicious and everything He allows He works for the good of those who truly love him. To love Him is to know him, and to love Him back.

Look, I wasn't good enough without God, I am truly nothing without God, but I'm here in Him now. Not even a 20 year history of not trusting him will stop Him from using my life for His glory. I belong on my knees in those moments of misdirection, confusion, and pain. A place where His strength is felt deeply and my soul is filled with His love. I belong in that place where I am broken before Him, instead of stuck without Him. I am changed by God only and only Him do I seek.

Notes From My Daughter - The Many Faces of Pride

My daughter

Occasional notes from my 19 year old daughter. I never know what to expect when she writes, but it's usually a pleasant surprise.  Read on!

As told through C.S Lewis quotes :)

As you might be able to tell through the subtitle; I have a deep fond love for C.S Lewis. I sometimes refer to him as one of my best friends, and my mentor. He's one of those people that I highly look forward to meeting in heaven (after God, Jesus, Paul, Samuel, and some other folks).

However, currently a new friend has been trying to make their way into my life, and as is typical of me my initial reaction was to resist. Though naturally resistant, I still try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know my judgment is often faulty. This would usually be the time where I would become more accepting, but instead I became more rejecting and ran far away as fast as I could and hid so this pushy "friend" would never find me.

Source

This friend was humility, and I have to say from the surface no one would want to befriend them. Humility literally has Death written in bold letters on its forehead. That's scary. But the heart of humility holds life. Life that we cannot gain on our own but only through the grace of God.

In the new testament we begin to understand that we don't understand much about God's love (and everything in the old testament points towards this truth). What is life in this world, is usually death spiritually and what is life in the spirit requires us to die to ourselves. Through Jesus' life we begin to see that there is no fear in death, physically or spiritually because there's a road beyond that God paves for you when you trust in him. Still that doesn't change the fact that many of us aren't eager to die. Fortunately we take or cue from scripture and not from feelings:

In Matthew 16 we see Jesus' example of desiring God's will above anything else (and he continues this pattern until God's will is completed and perfected in Him):

"21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? "

Jesus' humility pushes him towards obedience, (which I would define as a God driven action that has an immediate and eternal impact), and allows Him to complete the purpose that God lovingly designed Him for. Peter's actions however, drive us to meet one of the many faces of pride - Righteous/Justified Pride.

If humility has death written on its forehead, then pride has comfort written on its forehead. Or in the words of my articulate mentor:

"The human spirit will not even begin to try to surrender self-will as long as all seems to be well with it. Now error and sin both have this property, that the deeper they are the less their victim suspects their existence; they are masked evil. Pain is unmasked, unmistakable evil; every man knows something is wrong when he is being hurt" -C.S Lewis

Humility brings us the necessary dosage of pain, pain that will eventually yield fruit. The irony of life is that what we seek in comfort is peace, but comfort actually yields death.

Righteous Pride: "But Peter wasn't comfortable, he was a disciple, he went through a lot, he was just trying to have God's back. He was trying to do a good deed."

When you look to yourself for answers, you're choosing the comfortable route because you will never really tell yourself the whole truth because you don't know the whole truth. You are one person, with one perspective on minor situations that relate to you. Yes, Peter was trying to do the right thing, but people with good intentions are led by the devil all the time. Life isn't about being a good or bad person because all of us by default have been born into bad ways. We're all wrong! (So please stop trying to compare yourself to others and playing the "I can do anything better than you" game) Peter wasn't doing Jesus any favors, in fact Jesus refers to him as a stumbling block in that moment. Peter wasn't led by God but by his feelings.

Life is about God. So if you want to do something look at Him.

Righteous Pride: "But I don't want to just sit and look at God, I want to karate chop some demons, be a big evangelism star, and CONQUER THE WORLD……..for Jesus."

The truth is you can never win others for Christ if you are not even focused on him. We are made to bring God praise, not to bring ourselves praise in the name of God. If you can't learn to listen to God, then pride will start to seem like the loudest and most logical voice.

The irony is comfort is a result of stagnation, and stagnation is rooted in death only, no fruit of life will ever be produced from comfort. However humility is rooted in life, and though it has a stage of death it is resurrected and soon results in an abundant life. A life that constantly and continually grows, producing fruit. A life that produces more seeds than what was originally sowed into the ground. Matthew 13:31 gives us a great visual:

31 He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. 32 Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

The kingdom of heaven can be developed in your heart and shared in your life if you humbly come before God and allow his will to have precedence over everything. I invite you to run to humility and befriend it. Even if you think there's no way you are proud, humility will show you.

We all deal with sin, we all deal with pride, we're all wrong. There is one way, one truth, and one life, his name is Jesus; but there are many faces of pride that we must leave in order to truly live in Him and have Him live in us. We need to constantly gaze at our Father as he teaches us about his love which fulfills all our needs and desires. Run with Christ towards humility, die to yourself and live in his love.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. - 1 John 1:8

Pride or humility? Is this a constant struggle for you?

A Godly Smack!

Has God ever smacked you up side the head?
Have you ever been so caught up in your circumstances, that you don't see how He's working and then he gobsmacks you and and you're left humbled?
Well this happened to me with three instances in one day, which I'd like to share with you:

1. I went on an interview last week that I did not approach positively. I practically knew I was not going to be a good fit before I got there. (Kinda makes you wonder why I went). Anyhow, as the interview progresses - they are impressed with me and say "I've set the bar very high!" Let's see how this turns out.

2. A friend of mine recently had a baby girl that was born deaf (I don't remember the specific name of the medical condition). The doctors told them that she would be deaf for life and would need hearing aids and assistance. The whole family had started to learn sign language. She asked me to pray for her and I've prayed since I found out. I got a call mid-morning from the mother, saying that they went to the doctor earlier this week and her deafness has been reversed; she can hear. The doctors were puzzled as to how this could happen based on her initial diagnosis.
I nearly cried in my office, I was so happy.

3. Currently, I'm on a long term full-time assignment. I was told in February that I would have two more months. Since the beginning of April I've been gearing up for my last day, though I have no idea when that is. My boss wanted to speak with me; I anticipated the worse. She proceeds to tell me that she has another assignment that she wishes to give me.

By the third event, all I could say was praise God. Lord, you're teaching me that you are in control of all things - big and small and that I should trust you.

Thank you Lord for the smack up side the head!