Forging Ahead

It's been a while since I've shared anything in this space, and recently, within the past weeks, I have been convicted to write more. It's not just a simple conviction; writing is where I learn to submit, surrender, and share. 

I'm not alone when I say the external factors that comprise our lives have seemed chaotic on a daily basis for the past months. There's political upheaval, which shows up in new policies daily, mass firings, natural disasters, plane crashes, need I go on? And yet, in the midst of this, we must live.

Your Apron Ministry

Susanna Wesley, the mother of twelve children, took her relationship with God seriously. Early in her life, she vowed that she would never spend more time on leisure entertainment than she did in prayer and Bible study. Even amid the most complex and busy years of her life as a mother, she still scheduled two hours each day for fellowship with God and time in His Word, and she adhered to that schedule faithfully. The challenge was finding a place of privacy in a house filled to overflowing with children. Mother Wesley's solution to this was to bring her Bible to her favorite chair and throw her long apron up over her head, forming a sort of

Why Do You Fast?

It's that time of year again where churches encourage members to fast at the start of the year. To launch fasting in our household, we had a long discussion about what fasting means while reviewing Isaiah 58: 1-7. This chapter speaks about right and wrong ways to fast. In this passage, the reality was that God's people didn’t fast with the right heart and did it only as an empty ritual. The context of this passage focused on their relationships with others - the oppressed and the needy. But the overriding theme was not to do something just because you think it will please God without changing your ways. We were mindful of this thought as Monday dawned.

Meditation and Marination

When I was a child, my Barbadian mother had a routine that you could set your clock by. Saturdays were dedicated to cleaning and preparation for Sunday, so on Saturdays, my mom spent a significant amount of time preparing and seasoning the meat for Sunday's dinner.

First, she took great care in cleaning the meat - beef chicken or lamb. She lifted skin, removed fat, removed blood and veins, and went through every nook and cranny of that meat to ensure it was clean and edible. Sometimes she would then soak the meat in lemon juice and salt. Next, she would rinse it off and season using herbs and spices: a little salt since my dad had to watch his blood pressure, Mrs. Dash, onions, garlic, thyme, pimento and any additional seasoning that would enhance the flavor profile she was going for. Finally, she would place the meat in a covered bowl and let it sit in the fridge for hours. This was a crucial step in ensuring that the meat was flavorful.

Later that evening she would cook this meat so that all that happened on Sunday after church was reheating.

Write it Down

God has left a deposit in my spirit at the beginning of this new year and it is that I should write my thoughts down. I do some of that via this blog, but honestly, I had gotten lazy with capturing God's thoughts as He speaks to me.

These thoughts can show up anywhere and anytime but they usually show up when I'm still, when I'm listening or when I'm at church. This can be three separate instances or they can occur simultaneously. I cultivated the habit

Thank God for Wake Up Calls

In college as a member of the track team, we traveled to out of state track meets where oftentimes we had to stay overnight. Back then, no one had cell phones and oftentimes these travels presented a whole new world to me. Our coach was in charge, so we followed his lead. Once we were assigned our rooms, he always told us to call the front desk and get a wake-up call. I'm sure this was new to many but we followed his instruction like it was gospel.

Of course, since many of us were on our own for the first time we stayed up late, watched TV and in general played the fool, not being entirely focused on the purpose of our trip which was to compete and do our best the following day.

What Do You Need Him to Be?

Have you ever read a book that changed you? If you've read such a book you will notice that upon each successive reading, you were transformed again because you noticed something new. Some books can do this but as an avid reader, I know that they're not as timeless or alive as the Bible. No book has impacted or changed me like the Bible.

Without knowing it, whenever you read the Bible it is ministering to your deepest needs because that's what it was meant to do. (2 Timothy 3:16) There is nothing that you are going through that you won't find a relatable story, phrase or thought that can provide insight, foresight, and hindsight for you and your situation. As you read and your deepest needs are met in a supernatural way, you may wonder why you've never done this before. Discover the God of the Bible, who is what you need to him to be, at just the right time.

Isn't This the Point?

When we relocated to California, I joined the gym. This might have been because I was bored, homesick or going crazy with all of the adjustments. My husband came home with this offer from one of his co-workers and thought it would be good for me. Also, it was an excellent deal, monetarily speaking, so I bit the bullet and joined. I don't believe in wasting money (paying for something and never using it), so once I joined the gym, I created time in my schedule to go to the gym.


There are many participants at the gym, but two types stand out. There's a fellow that has been a member as long as I have - he is on the larger side; after all these years he remains on the larger side. Recently within the past six months, there was a lady who was also on the larger side who worked out with an intensity I rarely saw.

A Chapter A Day - Proverbs 4

Source

I was on the track team in High School and College. Somewhere, along the way I recognized that the dedication, time, and energy I gave to track was a skill that was transferable to other areas of my life. I joined the track team because I thought I could run (that was a fallacy!); I stayed with it because I wanted to improve. Coaches seemed mean and harsh (back then) but they just wanted us to perform at our best - so we had some tough workouts. For example, here's a typical distance workout: 1 mile warm up, 5*800 (under 3 mins) and then a 1 mile cool down. I came home many nights in HS exhausted, but I refused to let my class work suffer. In college, we worked out at 7:00 am; I started many a day tired - but again I refused to let my class work or anything else suffer. You know what - I got better! And I was proud of myself for putting in the hard work and seeing the results.

I say the above to encourage you to approach your spiritual life with the same discipline - you'll be better for it.



Proverbs 4 reiterates the point of wisdom being so important we should get it at any cost.

Highlights and Observations

One of my favorite verses from this chapter is verse 7 which says - Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore, get wisdom; and with all thy getting, get understanding. The simplest explanation that I can give for wisdom is this: wisdom is the application of knowledge in all areas of your life. The best wisdom is  gained through reading God's word. The basis of true wisdom is God's word. One of my favorite sites provides a good explanation of wisdom.

Verses 23-27 provides great encouragement for young people; I have paraphrased below:

1. Protect your heart, for everything you do, flows from it.
2. Watch what you say; keep your mouth free of perversity.
3. Keep your eyes on the goal.
4. Think about the direction you wish to go in; be steadfast.
5. Stay away from evil.

The Bible is so relevant to the world we live in. I hope you're beginning to see that as you read.

Writing about Writing

Here's what's happening:

Source

I want to write. I have a great conversation or a thought runs across my mind. I  think, "I should write this; it''s really good; I'm sure somebody will appreciate this perspective." I sit down to write. I click "New Post." I start writing the initial thoughts and then nothing, absolutely nothing. I know at this point I should keep typing until my thoughts become cohesive.  Just get it down on paper is my mantra. But there seems to be a disconnect between my brain and my hands.

So I have many incomplete posts; though frustrated I'm glad I've done that, because at some point I know I will be able to finish.

There have been times when I would write and my thoughts would flow and I was quite happy with the result. This is not happening now. I want to get back there, but until I do, I'll keep writing what I can. I know what's happening with my writing is what we all go through at different points in life, so even in this I'm encouraged to keep going. And just in case you've missed me, I wanted you to know I've missed you too; I didn't intend to stay away so long.

I've seen many bloggers and writers come and go. I don't want to leave yet as overall I enjoy the process too much. My faith is my anchor and I rely on it heavily.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 [NLT]

This verse doesn't say when things are good or when you're writing He rejoices. It says He is with me and He rejoices over me. There's no mention of my circumstances. Writing is like running to me - it's not something that I cannot do - some days I run well, these days not so much. However I'm just glad I am able to do something. Even in the trying times I'm learning that the most important thing is to keep relying on the One who sustains my faith.

Writing this post just may be cathartic and hopefully my writing becomes prolific again.

If you've gone through this, I would appreciate your thoughts on how you got unstuck. Thanks for reading.

How to Punish a Child

Source

There is a video circulating that unfortunately has gone viral, of a mother beating her child for doing something she should not have done. I don't know why the video was made, but the video is humiliating for both parent and child and somewhat hard to watch. During the 6 minutes of this video, the mother is speaking broken English and in her anger she is using a belt to punish her 12 year old daughter. The angrier the mother gets, the more she hits the child, until in the end she walks away in anger and the girl is whimpering sorry.

This video was upsetting on so many levels. If I could speak with this mother here's what I would say:

Mother;
What on earth could your child, who you bore, what could she have done to make you punish her in front of the world? Did you think of the repercussions of this? How will the child recognize the error of her ways? Do you really think this was the best way to go about this? 

As a mother, I know that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and as such they will do things that anger us and hurt them; they will not always make the best decisions. But there is a way to deal with this. 

Perhaps this form of punishment was inflicted upon you as a child. You surely did not welcome it and looking back as an adult probably felt it did more harm than good, or maybe you didn't care. But your child is not you and as adults, once we know better, we ought to do better.

When I became a parent, I too initially disciplined out of anger. It was the only way I knew. But at the end of it all, I was exhausted and my children were afraid of me and it became harder to bridge the gap. I knew there had to be a better way. I thought about how I am a child of God and when he punishes me I'm not afraid of Him, as a matter of fact, there is something in there for me to learn so that I don't do it again, and yet he remains loving.  I don't walk away hating Him. My husband was instrumental in helping me see a better way. If the offense warranted punishment with a belt: it was always on the butt and no more than three lashes. After that he would say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you, I love you." Then he would hug them.  

My biggest issue with your approach is the public humiliation and shame you have heaped on your daughter. We all punish our children, and if others were looking on they would perhaps question our tactics also.

Again, I look to God as an example. Psalms 130: 3-4 says "If you O Lord kept a record of sins, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." When children are forgiven by parents who set an example of righteousness, not perfection they will regard the gift of grace far more highly. Their realization that the wrong was forgiven, though the standard was not lowered will often have a serious impact (Feathers From My Nest by Beth Moore).

The public humiliation of this beating is not good. Shame is Satan's tool, not God's. Shame is not God's game, as he is perfect. Psalms 103: 13-14 shows the compassion of God. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.

As children we cannot out sin God's ability to forgive us. He remembers that we are dust. Dust is weak and frail. Dust blows - who knows where it will land?

If chastisement is necessary for the child to learn, He assigns it, but even His discipline is biased by love. The Lord chastens those He loves as sons. Hebrews 12:6. Never unnecessarily; never unfairly. Never without full intention of benefit.

Parents are to discipline and deal wisely with poor choices their children make, but when it's over, its over. Because you as a mother allowed a video to be created, you have publicly humiliated your child and yourself; it's never over for this young lady now that the video is viral. There's no real opportunity for forgiveness and a new beginning.

I know it seems that I am being hard on you. I am not overlooking your daughter's offense. But I am challenging you as the adult in this situation to never discipline like this again. To think before acting, to act wisely, with compassion and through it all for your child to know that she is loved. That's the example we should be trying to emulate.

How did you deal with being angry when it came to disciplining your children? Do you have any additional suggestions? What would you say to this mother?

P.S. I intentionally did not link to this video, as I feel the less it is seen, the better.

Habits + Discipline

It takes 21 days to form a new habit - that's what we are told when we want to incorporate new behaviors in to our routine.

It takes no time to form a bad habit, but if it is something beneficial we have to work at it.

It takes time to unlearn bad behaviors.

What does it take to maintain a good habit? Discipline.

Discipline allows you to be repetitive for the long term.

Discipline says I'll do it even if I don't feel like it.

Discipline will get you through when the going gets tough.

Discipline produces a proven result; with discipline you have a guaranteed outcome.

Good habits without discipline is a set up for failure. Everyone needs discipline.

Discipline is  training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character (Merriam-webster.com)

To acquire discipline:

• Have a desire
• Commit to certain steps
• Strive to be consistent
• Have an accountability partner

In my own life I have seen the benefits of self discipline. For example, I always wanted good grades in school therefore I took my school work seriously - this was easy as youngster but became more challenging in college. When I joined the track team in HS, I didn't realize the rewards I would reap. One of the best things that came out of my track life (besides medals) was a new appreciation for discipline and how to apply it to every aspect of my life. I took the lessons of discipline that I learned and applied it to my:

Spiritual life - I start every day with pray and devotions

Work life - when dealing with difficult situations I realized that I had with in me to persevere

Physical life - labor and delivery; pushing myself to keep a home running; not complaining about fatigue

Life in general - pressing on when we don't always know what lies ahead

The only way to maintain good habits is through discipline. BTW – you can always tell a person that lacks discipline as they have no self control. 

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. Proverbs 13:4

Are you aware of your need for discipline? How do you exercise discipline in your life? Does this become easier as we get older?

A Chapter A Day - Proverbs 1

Proverbs 1 introduces the book of Proverbs. This first chapters lays out the purpose of Proverbs, states wisdom's foundation, and provides a warning if one does not receive wisdom.

Observations and Highlights
Written primarily by Solomon - considered one of the wisest men.
A wise man will hear and increase learning - we must be willing to seek and accept Godly counsel, even if it's not what we want to hear

The foundation of wisdom is the fear of the Lord (v7).

A fool is not one who is mentally deficient, but one who is arrogant and self sufficient and orders his life as if there was no God.

This first chapter is a bit hard to decipher and capture in an easy to read format. But stick with me, it will become easier as we do this.
What sticks out for you from Chapter 1?

Practical Proverbs - A Chapter a Day Challenge

Most things done well require discipline; the Christian life is not exempt from this.
One aspect that requires discipline is Bible reading. The Bible is God's word and in order to get to know Him and how to live, we've got to read it. After reading, we must apply it to our lives to reap the benefit. After all, we know too many people who can quote the Bible, but their lives do not reflect its application.

I wanted to challenge myself, as well as you dear reader to read the Bible daily. One of the best places to start is the book of Proverbs. With thirty one (31) chapters - one chapter for each day of the month - this book is the perfect addition to any daily reading. Proverbs talks about every imaginable basic aspect of life - love, parenting, money, sex, God, relationships. It instructs on business, public policy, government, and family. It’s the best counsel in the whole world and it's free! (Luis Palau, Changed by Faith, 2011)

Here's how the challenge will work:
• I'll post a link to the chapter for that day - (I will not post the chapter)
• After reading each chapter, I will highlight passages and provide potential application or examples from my life or both.
• We will do this for the month of May.

I am entering this challenge prayerfully, with the expectation that new things will be learned that will make us better people.

Won't you join me? (Please leave a comment, if you're committing to the challenge).